Deathly Hallows Part 1 Is Out—I Haven’t Seen It, But I Have Seen These Pictures

Daniel Radcliffe/Emma Watson/Rupert Grint/thedailybeast.com

I did a lot of really important things this morning. Culling these pictures from the World Wide Web was one of them.

First of all, yipes to Emma Watson for wearing a sheer lace dress with a super short feathered skirt. I hated the whole thing when I saw a photo during her Letterman appearance (where she did a hilarious impression of an American accent, saying “Oh my GOD, are you that girl from Harry Potter?), but I have come around on the whole thing, even though I do not condone the haircut.

To summarize, that was a laudatory “yipes.”

Helena Bonham Carter LAtimes.com/Dave Hogan/Getty Images

And then there was Helena Bonham Carter, who I love as a rule (and have loved ever since I saw Twelfth Night).

But, looking at her dress, that is one crazy lady who is maybe having a little trouble letting go of her Potter character.

I find myself at a bit of a loss. The fan in this next photo, on the other hand, finds himself at a bit of a win as Helena looks dangerously close to what I will refer to as a “nipple pop. “

The woman next to him looks suitably concerned/judgmental.

Helena Bonham Carter/LAtimes.com/Dave Hogan/Getty Images

Also, I am going to go right ahead and admit, that if my hair could be that voluminous, I might have to wear it like that every, every day.

Johnny Weir/thedailybeast.com

And of course, you know who was at the New York premiere? Johnny Weir, obviously—and dressed up as a vintage English schoolboy to boot. And thrilled. I cannot quite decide how it measures up to his Kentucky derby red carpet appearance, but it brought me joy.

Although I cannot say I am OK with the blue socks.

 

Related:

15 Funniest Harry Potter Moments (Movies 1-6)

Top Three Severus Snape Moments in Harry Potter 1-6

Was John Lennon the Model for Harry Potter?

 

Things You Need to Know From the Past Week or So

In case you don’t follow me on Twitter, which honestly, you really should because I am just a wealth of wonderful information, quips and minutiae… I am going to go all bullet points on you and note a couple things that you should note if you haven’t already.

1. George W. Bush’s mother put a miscarried fetus in a jar and that somehow made Dubya super pro-life. Dear creepy, stop. Old news by now, but still. Ew.
2. Johnny Weir will be judging—aka utilizing his second nature—on ABC’s Skating with the Stars, a post-Olympic year take-off of Dancing with the Stars which is sure to be horrid and amazing all at the same time. I cannot wait.
3. Scott Hamilton returned to comment on figure skating at Skate America and there will be a post to follow, revealing all the magic.
4. On the final and drunkest hour of the The Today Show, Kathie Lee and Hoda recently re-created the evolution of dance YouTube video. Kathie Lee threw a tantrum the entire time. Hoda got really excited about “getting low” and the whole thing is hilarious and merits watching to the end. Promise.
5. A coyote was spotting gamboling down State Street in Chicago moments after my “Fear the Coyote” post, thus confirming all my fears ever and that I suffer not because I live in the wilderness but because they have no fear. Note that last year one wandered into a Loop restaurant and just hung out unnoticed for way too long.
6. I learned by watching Conan that that really is Jack McBrayer’s voice.
7. And if you really live under a rock, Tina Fey won the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. Amy Poehler said she was rocking the Evita essence.
8. Lastly, Andy Samberg’s SNL digital short about the Model UN was fully hilarious and my sister and I might be in the process of memorizing it inadvertently, because we like to shout it randomly at each other. You heard it here first.
9. The Chicago Sun-Times misspelled Kate Middleton as “Middleman” throughout an entire article on her and Prince William’s engagement in today’s paper. It was the saddest thing I ever skimmed, because in another article that was specifically about her ring, they had the spelling correct. Does this mean I can get a job as fact-checker or something?
10. And last but not least—in fact most—the Beatles are finally on iTunes, and I found out from Voldemorte. (P.S. if you have an extra ticket for Harry Potter this weekend, call me).

 

Derby Day with Bob Costas & a Random Sullivan

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Calvin Borel rides Super Saver to the finish/ nbcsports.msnbc.com

In case the title had you worried: Never fear, there were mint juleps as well. Take a deep breath.

As a kid I spent what felt like a fair amount of time at the Belmont Race Track with my family. One of my uncles was working there at the time and I loved horses like a great many little girls are wont to do. I read kid fiction about horseback-riding gals, I stole souvenir Belmont glasses from my grandmother, and I demanded that every vacation involve a jaunt on a horse since it had become to clear to me early on that never would my parents actually purchase me a pony.

It is a sad reality with which many children are forced to make their peace at one point or another.

Trainer Todd Pletcher celebrates Super Saver's Win/ nbcsports.msnbc.com

As the years went on, my uncle no longer worked at the race track, the juvenile fiction became predictable (though always ever so inspiring and tear-jerking), the glasses broke and my family started kayaking on vacation instead.

My love for horses and racing sports persevered over the years, despite my failure to be capable of reaching great speeds myself, with or without the help of  horse. Racing sports are the best because you get can pick one or two random names to back if you know nothing about the field, and unless you are into marathons the action is immediate, brief and thrilling to the end. Perfect entertainment.

thefrisky.com

In college I met Kathleen who has spent a fair amount of time at the race track in Saratoga and owns more than one appropriate hat, much like Johnny Weir. Match made in heaven? Yes. We set out Saturday afternoon to enjoy the day and the Derby from Manhattan. We ended up at a random sports bar not far from Washington Square Park called Reservoir.

We settled in directly in front of a prime plasma screen, ordered ourselves a couple of mint juleps, persuaded the bartender to set the television to the derby before any one else had shown up for the race and proceeded to wow fellow barflies with our knowledge of Derby procedure.

It did not take a lot.

It also did not take a lot to make them commence in their judgment of us as crazy girls. I think it started when Bob Costas– everyone’s favorite sportscaster– appeared on-screen. We might have screamed, “Bob!” People might have turned and stared. But it mattered not. The question at hand was how could I have ever forgotten to depend on Bob Costas to appear for a high-profile, obscure, rich man sport?

If only it had been possible to hear what I am sure was insightful, winning and profound commentary from The Costas. Instead, we had to resort to pondering why he appeared to be holding court in a  rec room where people were playing pool and generally looking utterly unaware of the élite happenings out in the weather on the track. It wasn’t just us– everyone was wondering why Bob was sitting in a fluorescent basement. As I recall he may have escaped just before the race for the roses; however, by then we had a whole new set of problems unrelated to the producers of derby coverage.

Our new problems were embodied in the person of a Mr. Sullivan, a middle-aged man with poor vision and a few thousand dollars running on a horse that did not win. Luckily, Sullivan had grown up in a betting family and he had strategy that involved betting on a variety of horses and placements. I have no real concept of how such things work, so I’ll leave it at that.

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Anyways, Sullivan decided to join our table right below the plasma because he had apparently forgotten to bring his glasses. So we sat, we drank and we chatted with the man three sheets to the wind. He was a little wobbly, his drinks had a tendency to slosh over the sides and he told us many of tale of his gambling youth. In the end he was generally harmless, if a mildly irritating interloper who invited us to return to the bar for the Preakness.

So now you know where to find me later this month. Clearly. Care to join?

nbcsports.msnbc.com

Also, in the never-ending list of Olympian perks… a handful of Vancouver competitors put on white suits and wide-brimmed hats to celebrate what Bob Costas has refereed to as an iconic element of Americana. Short track speed skater Allison Baver donned a wide-brimmed black number, although not quite as wide-brimmed as Johnny Weir’s. Bode Miller unsurprisingly was not wearing a hat, but did go for a festive white Derby Day suit. Also, not that tiny red feathered situation being rocked by the lady with the microphone, as a sidenote.

Olympians get invited to the best stuff.

One of these days–despite our non-Olympian, wealthy Southern or movie star statuses– Kathleen and I will go to the Derby and we will wear hats and it will not rain and Bob Costas will not waste his afternoon in a basement.

This will happen.

In the meantime, I have a gambling buddy for the Preakness and plans to go to Belmont for the Stakes.

Oh and in case you were wondering and had not yet figured it out, my horse Devil May Care did not win, but Super Saver did.

Ice Theatre of New York: An Alternative Figure Skating Vehicle

Alizah Allen, Eve Chalom & Angela Chiang

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A couple of weeks ago I recounted my  journey to the Nassau Coliseum and the experience of attending Stars On Ice; I reflected on the kitsch of a poppy ice show and the thrill of seeing Olympians perform in person. Last week (April 29, 2010) I was lucky enough to have an opportunity not only to witness two-time Olympian Johnny Weir deliver a premiere skate, but to experience a totally unexpected genre of figure skating melded with modern dance.

Ice Theatre of New York pushes the boundaries of traditional figure skating, specifically ice dancing; however, this is not the ice dancing with which one familiar from the Olympics, televised figure skating specials and tours such as Stars On Ice. Instead, ITNY approaches the sport as a vehicle for theatrical performance, embracing and emphasizing the artistic side of the figure skating. With such a creative and lyrical focus, it is no wonder that Johnny Weir would be interested in joining the company for a special Opening Night performance.

Evan Lysavek/ Jewel Samad/ Getty Images

Johnny Weir/ Junko Kimura/ Getty Images

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Over the past several years the top two men in American figure skating have been Evan Lysacek (the reigning Olympic Champion) and Johnny Weir (three-time National Champion), the former characterized as an athletic technician, the latter as a lyrical artist whose ways fared better under the old scoring system versus the new element-based tally. Lysacek has been performing with Stars On Ice, the only remaining national figure skating tour, while Weir has been closed out of such exposure since Champions on Ice folded in 2007 (he skated with that tour from 2004-2007). Instead Weir has appeared at such events as this, and on international tours such as Evgeny Plushenko’s Kings On Ice show in Russia.

Weir performed two exhibition programs for the ITNY opening night extravaganza. His appearance was clearly the marquee event of the show–fans roaring their love from first to last step on the ice. He presented a new program entitled “Heartbroken,” designed specifically to première at the ITNY event, choreographed himself and set to music by Richard Clayderman.

Johnny Weir: Heartbroken

Weir also gave the crowd that for which they had truly come: a new Lady Gaga program. It was “Bad Romance,” there was an undefinable gold sequined shoulder/collar detail, clusters of feathers on his hips and a whole lot of sass. He also threw himself in a completely horizontal knee-slide across the entire ice. Twice. And then popped right back up and continued with the fabulousness. Maybe it was the intimacy of the space (which for ice rink standards is minuscule), maybe it was a reflection of how far away I had been seated for Stars On Ice, but being about 20 feet away from Weir for his jumps and spins gave me a whole new appreciation for the speed that is at stake. I could not attain a single decent photo of him spinning or spiraling– and oh did I try.

Johnny Weir: Bad Romance

But more on Johnny Weir later. Here I would like to reflect of existence of Ice Theatre of New York in conjunction with a pop culture tour like Stars On Ice.

On the one hand, Stars On Ice is traditional and classic–kitsch points and competition style skates combined into an experience of Americana in the tradition of the Ice Capades– whereas ITNY identifies with avant-garde modern dance, pushing away from classic figure skating and resulting in highbrow figure skating performance that brings “classy” rather than “classic” to the table.

According to the organization’s statement, “ITNY’s vision is to bridge the divide between the dance and skating worlds and the organization has done so by commissioning works from renowned dance choreographers including Twyla Tharp, Lar Lubovitch, Peter Martins, Susan Marshall, Ann Carlson and David Parsons; as well as works by noted ice choreographers such as Douglas Webster, Katherine Healy and David Liu.”

 

Kim Navarro & Brent Bommentre

ITNY features nontraditional pairings, small and large groups, as well as traditional ice dance couples, such as Kim Navarro and Brent Bommentre who skated one pop style piece to “Give Me One Reason,” that might have fit into a Stars On Ice program, as well as participating in less traditional pieces with other company members.

Line Haddad & Tyrrell Gene, Kim Navarro & Douglas Webster: Heart

Aside from all the rabid Johnny Weir internet fan girls (of whom there were many and many of whom were actually quite loud and rude regarding the other performers), the whole evening was very enjoyable. It was a delightful blend of dance concepts and figure skating athleticism and technique. There were a variety of interludes throughout the evening that featured a lone skater practicing school figures of increasing difficulty, prompting the audience to reflect on the journey and dedication of figure skaters. It was during these brief moments that a distinct percentage of the audience voiced their boredom and proved an inability to appreciate the beauty and strength inherent in these movements executed by Elisabeth L’Heureux.

Elizabeth L

The idea of developing skating skills overtime was further explored by a humorous solo piece performed by Kenny Moir who portrayed the evolution from a slip’n’slide disaster on ice to a joyful bona fide figure skater. Moir skated “In A Nutshell” to Mozart’s Clarinet Concerto and ended the piece by helping another “new” skater take his first steps on ice.

Kenny Moir

Curtain Call with Eve Chalom, Michele Forchione & Marni Halasa (La Revolte des Enfants)

Based on the variety of selection at the ITNY show, ranging from a Renaissance-style group court dance to a three woman interpretation of a Coldplay’s “Fix You” played by a string quartet and a very experimental three woman piece in which the skaters were all connected to each other by thick spandex sheets connected their unitards, providing a dynamic element for movement and manipulation.

I dare you to encounter something that bizarrely challenging at Stars On Ice. On the other hand, Stars On Ice brought performances by favorite Olympian athletes into my life, and I loved that. There is no fair means of comparing the two events with an eye towards determining whether one is better than the other, but if you have any interest in figure skating and you have the opportunity to experience such diverse modes of presenting this favored obscure winter sport, I urge you to take advantage of the opportunity– it will bring a whole new level to your understanding and appreciation of figure skating and the endless possibilities inherent in the form.

Ice Theater of New York has a regular annual season, in addition to tours outside of New York city, special singular events and international appearances.

For additional pictures, see my ITNY 2010 Opening Night gallery.

Johnny Weir et al at Ice Theatre of New York Picture Gallery

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Picture gallery from the Opening Night performance of the Ice Theatre of New York is up, featuring Johnny Weir skating a première performance of Heartbroke and a glittering rendition of Bad Romance, as well as two-time National bronze medalist ice dancers Kim Navarro and Brent Bommentre.

Company Curtain Call with Johnny Weir

Shocking Performances, A Displaced Queen & the Olympic Hangover: Ladies’ Figure Skating World Championships

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If Johnny Weir has said it once, he has said it a hundred times: “the Olympic hangover” had a huge effect on the figure skating world championships this year. Several of the top male competitors– including Weir– dropped out of the competition and the women– especially those on the younger side– appear to have cracked under the pressure of the final act to the Olympic season beginning a mere three weeks after closing ceremonies. After the free skates Tara Lipinski (who called the programs with Andrea Joyce and also provided commentary with Johnny Weir and Peter Carruthers in the so-called Universal Sports “loft”) exclaimed in exasperation, “These ladies need to learn to handle pressure!”

While the men’s championship was already a completely different beast from Olympic competition due to the absence of leaders Evan Lysacek and Evgeny Plushenko, the women’s field retained an almost full roster of high-ranking skaters, excluding bronze Olympian Joannie Rochette.

There were opportunities for redemption– as in the men’s competition–, titles to be defended and expectations to be met. There was potential for drama and drama was had.

The Short Programs:

UniversalSports.com

Mirai Nagasu skated a downright spectacular short program, earning her a 70.04 point personal best providing the breakout performance of the competition. As analyst Peter Carruthers said: “Wow– did she just rock the place!”

Nagasu’s dreamy skate preceding the most shocking of the short programs: Olympic champion Kim Yu-Na delivered an oddly off performance of her James Bond routine, leaving the arena stunned silent upon receipt of her score: 60.03, ten points below Nagasu (who skated just before her) and a full eighteen points below her Olympic showing.

Coming off the ice Kim said something about a boot lace to her coach. She has also expressed having difficulty remaining focused and motivated after the emotional and physical strain of the Olympic games in Vancouver last month. She shortened a triple flip, had wobbly landings and some issues on a spiral sequence.

Neither fans nor commentators nor Kim herself seemed to have any idea what to do with such a result. Lipinski put it simply: “It’s so shocking.”

Weir continued with, “I think she’s so used to skating clean– it shocks not only us but it shocks her.”

One of the most shocking results of Kim’s short program is that she did not score high enough to warm up and skate with the last group for the long program. Her final placement for the short program was seventh position.

UniversalSports.com

Due to Kim’s poor showing, Olympic silver medalist Mao Asada of Japan found herself in prime position to challenge the Olympic champion and defending World Champion Kim Yu-Na. Asada’s short program put her into second place just a few points behind Nagasu. Asada of course had been the Kim’s main rival over the  years; this season found her more and more unable to catch up as Kim continued to excel at a meteoric rate. In fact, in the past two years Kim had only ceded once to the competition– that competition was Asada still fighting her end of a fading rivalry against a fierce opponent. After the short program Weir selected Asada as his pick for the top of the podium.

Laura Lepisto of Finland took third place after the short program, after having been somewhat discounted in Vancouver.

The Free Skate:

Kim Yu-Na delivered another lackluster performance for her free skate. As she came off the ice, Lipinski forecasted: “I know she wants to defend her title, but I’m not sure that’s going to be enough to win.”  She suffered an unlikely fall, a scratched jump and substituted with a waltz jump, which– sidebar–  Tara Lipinski declared  is the jump you learn when you are three years old. Lipinski appeared to be quite frustrated with the inconsistency of the performances at these Worlds.

Giampiero Sposito/ Getty Images/ UniversalSports.com

Surprisingly Kim’s free skate was scored the highest, allowing her to somewhat overcome her short program and land on the podium for the silver medal. I for one was  shocked by the final standings, particularly when confronted by the utterly defeatist attitude that Kim took onto the ice. Weir even observed that it “looked like she was hating being out there,” and Lipinski commented on “the way she got up was so slow” after falling on a salchow.

Damien Meyers/ Getty Images/ UniversalSports.com

Skating after Kim, Asada put in a strong performance that was somehow scored below Kim’s free skate but still placed Asada in first place when combined with her short program. Asada delivered her trademark triple axel twice, prompting Lipinski to exclaim,”Her jumps are just so smooth!”

A final declaration by Joyce: “Wow! What a terrific  performance by Mao Asada and she knows it!”

Skating second to last, it seemed that Mirai Nagasu was well within reach of the podium, if not the top spot. Lipinski uttered ill-fated words: “These next four minutes could really change [Nagasu’s] career.” [Full recap of Nagasu at the Worlds]

Clearly there were a lot of nerves at stake given Nagasu’s unexpected ranking coming out of the short program and it appears that at the end of such a high-stress Olympic-year season the pressure was just too much. Instead of being bolstered by her short program performance, Nagasu caught herself a bunch of nerves and despite fighting her way through the entire program could not hang on and ended up in a disappointing seventh place.

Yuri Kadobnovi/ Getty Images/ UniversalSport.com

Laura Lepisto again put in another solid skate, placing sixth in the free skate and holding on to her third place position overall for the bronze medal behind Kim Yu-Na in an unaccustomed number two position and Mao Asada claiming a deserved and hard-won gold at the top.

Weir, as usual, reflected on the subjectivity of judging in figure skating, saying that he felt Nagasu was overly punished for her mistakes. Regarding Lepisto he said that although she stated well, she only has doubles in her repertoire: “She didn’t have the jumps… It was disappointing for me to see that as a bronze medal performance,” which he thinks would have been more fairly awarded to Miki Ando of Japan.

I for one loved seeing the reality of competition in this ladies championship, especially after the Olympic where Kim Yu-Na was so unstoppable that the competition was downgraded to a fight for silver and bronze. Torino bore witness to the fierceness that is Mao Asada, the lady who lands multiple triple axels and who continued to challenge herself to challenge Kim Yu-Na for the gold– even at the Olympics.

Her triple axels even made Tara Lipinski’s ‘best moments’ list: “Watching Mao land a second triple axel, I just admire her so much!”

It really was a most exciting competition to watch; both more exciting and more devastating that the Olympics– a battle to the end. I give Mao Asada the Words to Bumble Fierce Award.

Ups & Downs: Mirai Nagasu at the 2010 ISU World Championships

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Clive Rose/Getty Images/ UniversalSports.com

Mirai Nagasu skated a downright spectacular short program, earning her a 70.04 point personal best providing the breakout performance of the competition. The camera caught her exclaiming, “yeah!” in the kiss and cry area upon hearing her score. When asked to name her “best moments” of the 2010 World Championships, Lipinski recalled the grin on Nagasu’s face in the final pose of her short program, soaking it all in and “really enjoying the moment.” Weir tried to describe the emotions at play in the final pose of a stellar skate: “That beautiful joy, and just– you know, holding that end position.”

But back to the beginning…

As Nagasu entered the ice Andrea Joyce noted, “What a fighter she has come to be.” Lipinski reflected, “The focus she has just before she skates is amazing.” As such a young skater competing again the likes of Kim Yu-Na and Mao Asada, Nagasu had not been lauded as a skater in contention for a medal at the Olympics, making her fourth place finish quite the fighting statement. Her first place score for the short program declared yet again that Nagasu is, as she likes to say, “the future.”

Clive Rose/ Getty Images/ UniversalSports.com

It was a spectacular performance full of Nagasu’s unparalleled trademark spins, spirals and fluid grace, leading Lipinski to comment, “This is what she does best… I don’t think anybody can match her on the spins orthe spirals… Look at the flexibility, it’s amazing! … She keeps the speed throughout the entire spin.”

Weir exclaimed, “She has to be missing bones in her back! … It’s gorgeous, no one can do that.”

And Lipinski went on to praise the totality of Nagasu’s skating, because of course it is not just about the spins: “[Nagasu] really mastered the ability the art of just skating in and out of a jump… [and] she not only has the flexibility, but she has the jumps.”

Weir also reflected on how inspiring it must be for Nagasu to train with Olympic champion Evan Lysacek, widely regarded as having an incredibly admirable training ethic and total skating style: “Making sure you’re performing from your head to your toes.”

After the short program Nagasu spoke to reporters, remaining grounded in the ongoing battle of competition: “I think it was a good way to do my very last short program this year… I just need to stay focused… It was really important to me to be able to do the triple-triple here after the Olympics.. After the Olympics I’ve been really tired, but I’m glad that I stuck to it and did the best performance that I could here.” She went on to say elude to the hard work ahead for next season to keep her momentum going.

Lipinski closed the discussion on Nagasu’s short program by saying that “Mirai really needs to prove herself and she knows this is the place to do it.”

Unfortunately the pressure would prove to be too much for Mirai Nagasu, who despite a strong lead coming out of the short program (in which she had scored ten points higher than Kim Yu-Na with an out-of-character skate directly following Nagasu), would finish the world championships in seventh place.

Nagasu’s free skate began with Lipinski– who had earlier cautioned Weir’s prediction that Mao Asada would take the gold in favor of Nagasu– solemnly stating, “These next four minutes could really change her career.”

I look back on my notes and I feel devastation.

Nagasu made a mistake on her first jump, downgrading a triple to a double lutz prompting commentators to say that, “She needs to take control now and forget about that.” As she settled into the program recovery seemed possible: “She is in a little bit of a trouble. She just needs to make sure she can get on the podium– but I think she can.”

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Nagasu unfortunately continued to have trouble with the take-off on combo and later fell on a double axel landing, prompting: “I think it’s just nerves sitting in first place… knowing you could win your first world championships.”

Instead of a triumphant end pose, Nagasu smacked her head with both hands in frustration. As she came off the ice she apologized to coach Frank Carroll who put things in perspective: “You’re not dead.”

When judges delivered her scores the girl who “showed a lot of spunk and a lot of fight at the Olympics,” and shocked Torino with a phenomenal short program was pushed back into seventh place.

Afterwards, a distraught Nagasu fought back tears to speak with reporters (sidebar: her coach has said such things as “There’s no crying in figure skating,” after Nagasu’s rough 2008/09 season). Nagasu struggled saying, “I just wanted to come here and improve on my performance at the Olympics… and I feel really bad. I’m just gonna work harder and do better next year.” She said she has not been this low since she was eleven. It was a sad story, but it marks the impetus for a season driven by the desire for redemption at the 2011 Worlds, where Nagasu is sure to fight harder than ever before to get onto that podium and take what was almost hers.

As Andrea Joyce said: “[Nagasu] has her eyes looking forward always.” Looking forward to seeing her fight it out next season.

Skeletor Returns to the Ice: Men’s Figure Skating World Championships

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The most upsetting thing about watching the ISU Figure Skating World Championships is that the Olympics were about five minutes ago and most people are skating the same programs with the same costumes– and let’s face it: discussing sartorial choices is a major highlight of figure skating commentary in my mind.

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On that note, I tip my hat to Kevin Van Der Perren of Belgium for changing up his free skate program. You may remember him as the skeletor man from the Olympic short program. For his free skate at the World Championships in Torino, Van Der Perren chose to mix things us and perform a program to “Reflections of Earth” (of Disney World fame) which appears to be a piece that he originally skated in the 2000/2001 season.

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Inexplicably this is the only image Universal Sports has to offer of his performances in Torino– but know that it was dramatic and spangled. And the music started out just as terrifyingly as his “Night on Bald Mountain” skeletor skate. Van Der Perren is one scary intense dude; he executed a magnificent quad-triple-triple combination worth 19 points out of his 144.88 season’s best score. Johnny Weir, who has been commentating the competition on Universal Sports, described Van Der Perren’s execution of the combination “like shooting an arrow,” after stating that the Belgian skater is not a a fan of choreography, rather for him the sport is all about the jumps, which– for the record– are pretty epic. This was apparently the last competition of his career.

So with Evan Lysacek and  Evgeny Plushenko both absent from the Worlds (Plushenko is apparently injured, but I think he is too busy polishing his fake gold medal), who else was there?

Damien Meyer/Getty Image/ UniversalSports.com

Jeremy Abbott skated as the highest ranked American man, putting in a redeeming short program after a disappointing Olympic performance. Afterwards he said, “I was very pleased with how I skated today… it wasn’t easy– I wasn’t in the zone,” but managed to lay it down anyways. He has repeated said that a misdirected mindset in Vancouver seriously handicapped his performance and that in Torino, “I made the goal about performance outcome instead of trying to win, and I think it really worked out for the best… I can’t control placement, all I can do is skate.”

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Abbott took a few spills after a nice start to his long program the next day, but really at the ISU Worlds placing fifth is no mean feat. Plus Abbott’s high placement assures the US the right to a full team of three men to compete next year. Here is looking forward to seeing more of Jeremy Abbott and maybe some more Beatles choreography. Plus, you can always depend on Abbott for a tasteful costume and let’s face it– we all appreciate that!

Meanwhile, Brian Joubert of France took the bronze with performances of redemption after his own disappointing Olympic showing. In case you missed: Joubert’s free skate program begins with a full body heart beat interpretation.

Patrick Chan took the silver for the second year in a row (and someone should tell him that when you wear all black without much texture the details on your costume do not read well at all). This another redemptive moment after a fifth place finish Olympic games in front of the home crowd in Canada.

Olympic bronze medalist Daisuke Takahashi skated for the gold, becoming the male first world champion from Japan. Unfortunately, this means that he again stood on the podium wearing the fringed, check and cowl-necked, peasant vested sartorial situation. Not OK. Sorry.

Regarding Takahashi’s skate,  Johnny Weir said, “He was crisp and clean and perfect… to the end.”

I hope that Weir keeps commentating, because it is amazing and the best is yet to come once we recap his own recap of his Olympic performance and the totality of his World Champion commenting.

Things Scott Hamilton Says: Men’s Free Skate

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Again, I really must chide people who missed the men’s free skate last night (never mind the other events which we will get to later), because it was truly magnificent. Furthermore, it was a nail biter to the end. Beautiful skating and fierce competition! Perfection.

For starters, let’s congratulate Jeremy Abbott for persevering and managing to overcome himself after a sketchy start to his free skate. Let’s face it, we like Abbott a lot even though this was not his Olympics. After two flubbed jump jumps Abbott pulled himself together and stuck on, prompting an ever supportive Scott Hamilton to exclaim, “He fought for that!” And as Abbott pushed through the rest of an enjoyable program, it appeared as Scott said: “as though he is waking up from this nightmare.”

I too was surprised that Scott did not use the up and coming phrase “nightmare covered in molasses” too. Meeeee too. Clearly Scott was feeling friendly: “I’m proud of him. I thought that was a great effort.” I concur.

Johnny Weir also garnered a warm reception from the crowd and the commentators, even provoking commentators to question whether he had been short-changed by the judges. He calls the program “Fallen Angel,” which represents the way he has felt about his career since disappointment at the Torino games in 2006. It was divoon. He ended up in sixth place, and really it does seem that he deserved a touch better. Of course he rocked another delightful costume. The thing about Weir is that his costumes are not actually as out of control as one might think they would be; often they are no more ridiculous than any other on the ice. The truth about Weir’s costumes is that are artistically executed and fully integrated into his program which is a gesamtkunstwerke of art. Just sayin’. To top off his performance, a fan presented Weir with a bodacious crown of enormous roses.

telegraph.co.uk

Hamilton’s thoughts? “And that is the best he’s ever been, ever!”

And Tom Hammond: “He skated his life out here in Vancouver and did it as always on his own terms.”

Back to Hamilton, for the sassiest sum up of Johnny Weir:  “When you talk the talk, you have to walk the walk ,and he just skated that skate!”

I know. I wonder if there is a job available where you just get to hang out with Scott Hamilton and preserve all the magical things he says for posterity. I want that job.

Of course the man to chase for the gold was Evgeni Plushenko of Russia, a man who clearly styles himself as a prince of darkness. He skated well… but not well enough. Also his program was so creepy and made me SO uncomfortable that I could barely watch at times. There was gyrating, swiveling, blowing of kisses, stroking of self… ew, ew, ew! Plus he was wearing a black unitard with an appliquéd sequin vest and tie, just to top it off in terms of things that are unacceptable. At one point he landed a wonky jump and Scott Hamilton illuminated our lives yet again: “A little scary! This guy’s a cat, I don’t know how he landed that!” And villanous cat, like the Siameses from Lady and the Tramp, only a lot scarier. Reerrrrr!

@kmwrather no.no.no.no. NO HIP SWIVELS ALLOWED. At least not from you, Plushenko. #OYlmpics

Kathleen: I am sooooo creeeped out. I want to see Scott’s face.

I’ll give him one thing, he wins for least sportsman like response to his silver medal.

It’s always nice to have a clearly defined villain to beat out, right? Sure in today’s  interview during afternoon Olympic coverage on NBC Evan Lysacek defended Plushenko as being a nice guy, probably due to the fact that he is a nice guy. Also, he won… spectacularly, with “the skate of his life,” as put by Tom Hammond.

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The spirit of the performance was summed up early by Scott Hamilton who exclaimed, “HAW” upon the first perfectly landed combination. Once it was over, Hamilton decided to elaborate with a jubilant, “technically, he did everything he came to do!” Too true, too true. Plus, Lysacek skated long before Plushenko, so he just skated his perfect Olympic moment without even knowing the performance that he would have to beat: “I dreamed about having the moment on the ice at the Olympic games… everything I dreamed it could have been,” and then the wait whilst basking in a “personal victory” no matter what the final outcome. There was a lot of gushy tweeting. No apologies.

JohannaAP25 @kmwrather OH MY GOD I KNOW, EW/ YAYAYAYAYAYA EVAN!!!!! #olympics

Celebrity tweet? I think so: ApoloOhno RE: http://bit.ly/bA4l8X he smashed it tonight!! Congrats Evan!

JohannaAP25 Hey hey @kmwrather… two #Chicago gold medals… sayin’. #olympics

kmwrather @JohannaAP25 I know! Shani and Evan, way to rep!

Oh yeah, for those of you who aren’t the informed types Shani Davis has also taken home a gold for long track speed skating.

Whew. Sigh of relief. Even reliving the night to recap was stressful. You should have been there. Also, I should have been there, but that’s another story completely… How did I not foresee my unemployedness?

With Evan what he did, what he did last night was really representative of what he does every day… He skated beautifully, he did everything he needed to do… just do what you do best and that is from start to finish a beautiful program… There was no one more prepared for that moment than Evan Lysacek. ~Scott Hamilton

Tassels, Skeletor, Feathers & Hamilton: Men’s Short Program

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After a broadcast such as last night’s it is difficult to organize one’s thoughts, but I shall try.

Let’s begin– as advertised– with the men’s figure skating short program, where we will focus on costumes, music choice and people who make me sad. Don’t forget Scott Hamilton, he’ll be in there too.

Let’s just get Johnny Weir out of the way first. Black costume, hot pink details, some of which are corset-like lacing, ruffles and one singular sensational tassel on his left shoulder. Upon appearing on the ice, one of the commentators simply remarked: “Johnny Weir knows how to make you raise an eyebrow.” At the end of his program, which was quite delightful to me but I grant you my failure to be appropriately informed so as to be informedly critical… Scott Hamilton shifted into a Weirism by concurring that Weir had indeed “rocked the tassel.”

 EPA/ANATOLY MALTSEV /monstersand critics.com 

According to Johnny he refers to this program as “I love you, I hate you” and it represents his two sides. Fabulous. As he skated off the ice Weir picked up a black and pink heart-shaped pillow (clearly made to match his costume) trimmed with ruffles and emblazoned with his name. I wish I had fans that made me pillows to match my outfits. Upon completion of his program and whilst awaiting marks, the arena decided the Lady Gaga would be an apt soundtrack to life… and it was. During the wait Scott Hamilton presented yet another winning remark in an effort to describe Johnny’s style: “I’m here to selllll myself!”

Done.

Following were some horrific sartorial choices accompanying less than pleasing performances. First we had  Czech Tomas Verner Michal Brezina dressed in some sort of Broadway sailor outfit and his ultimate failing is probably based in the fact that he did not use music from Anything Goes for his program, which would have been apt.

REUTERS/Gonzalo Fuentes

@KathElizW There is a guy warming up, dressed like a sailor. Cross your fingers for Anything Goes music.” -@JohannaAP25 #anythingstillgoes

@kmwrather @KathElizW @JohannaAP25 The “sailor” proved to be unimpressive and more-so really gay or really french.

@JohannaAP25 @kmwrather It was really upsetting. He chose the wrong music, obviously. Fail.

We were also honored to see a sparkly skeleton suite worn by Kevin Van Der Perren of Belgium who skated to Mussorgsky’s Night on Bald Mountain, perhaps best known as being the freaking scariest portion of Disney’s Fantasia, scarring millions of small children over the decades. It made nervous just remembering the animated story line as he skated his program. Scary entertaining.

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There was also French competitor for Italy (Olympic defection is always so fascinating) who chose to skate to harmonica-ness while wearing off-the-shoulder overalls. I can’t even get into it, so check out Slate on the issue of Samuel Contesti. A sartorial nightmare covered in molasses for the Italian team.

One last flamboyant fellow of the evening before getting to a section of true sadness, the one and only Evan Lysacek. Note on Lysacek: @kmwrather I’m rooting for Evan Lysacek because he’s from Naperville and he taught Meredith Vera to skate like a bird.#OYlmpics (note the tag: OY-lmpics, and make it happen).

Personally, I have always enjoyed that he is from Naperville as well, even though as a rule I scorn the suburbs of my hometown. Plus I’m pretty sure that once, as a child, I went ice skating in Naperville; however nobody ever taught me how to skate like a bird. Lysacek did choose to dress like a bird of sorts last night in a theatrical black Vera Wang ensemble topped off with feathered cuffs. It has been described as ‘raven-like.’ And his skating was superb, superb I tell you. So if you fell asleep or chose to watch Lost or whatever else one might do on a Tuesday night, you should just get into your bed and start crying now. Similar to my suggestion for those who missed the 1500m men’s short track finals this past weekend.

nbcsports.msnbc.com

And now the sadness. If you’ve been reading the blog, or if you just scamper down and take a look at my tag cloud you will note that I adore the Beatles. There can never be enough Beatles, in fact as the years go on there is a less than acceptable level of Beatleness.

@JohannaAP25 YES, skate to the Beatles. I like you Jeremy Abbott. I’m sad you didn’t triple. #olympics

Plus, way to wear a classy outfit Jeremy Abbott, lavender shirt and purple vest, just what was needed after all the slashes and the feathers and the sheerness and the sequins and the skeletons. Truly. And on top of your commendably classic appearance you skated to a jazzed up instrumental version of “A Day in the Life,” not even one of the overused clichéd Beatles favorites. I was so happy. And then, probably much like yourself, I was so sad. Again, for those you live in caves, Abbott singled two triple jumps of whatever sort, it was devastating.

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To sum it up sartorially: Wins = Weir, Lysacek, Abbot; Losses: Contesti, Verner; Undecided but weird: Van Der Perren. For Lysacek at least, the night was a total win, sartorially and actually, placing a close second to scary Russian contender Plushenko.

One last thought: towards the end of the night, Scott Hamilton was heard to say,”It’s hard!”

Thanks Scott.