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How dare you read my free skate recap and imagine that I would forget to dedicate additional time to some awful costumes. It simply did not meet the tone of “Things Scott Hamilton Says.”
First up, we were forced to confront yet another clown. And if you were not a fan of the German pair dressed as commedia dell’arte members earlier this week then I suggest you shield your eyes from Frenchman Florent Amodio dancing to music from Amelie whist wearing harlequin triangles, sparkly suspenders and sporting painted tears on his cheek. Fail.
And then there was Michal Brezina of the Czech Republic back with a sparkly pink argyle sweater vest to the tune of An American in Paris. To love or to hate? I mean, it’s better than his last effort…
Swiss Stephane Lambiel brought us the return of tassels, although unlike Johnny he chose a tassel on each shoulder rather than going for asymmetrical Weirian flair. Unfortunately I cannot find an adequate image at the moment, but the moment I do, you’ll know where to look.
And lastly, dear Daisuke Takahashi… next time you’re picking out a be-checked, cowl-necked thing, imagine what that will look like as a frame to your possible Olympic medal, because now there will be endless photos of you wearing that under your Olympic bronze, and I am sorry.
On a non-fashion note, don’t forget that our show tune for the night was a selection from Phaaaaantooooom of the Opera. In figure skating, there should always be at least one show tune.
And to close, another word of wisdom from the great Scott Hamilton: “You’re never a former gold medalist… You’re always an Olympic medalist!” Don’t call him a former medalist, you’ll just get sass. Me-ow.