You Know What the Summer Olympics Need? Scott Hamilton.

Avid readers are well aware of the absurdly amazing commentary provided by Scott Hamilton at basically every elite figure skating event. He oohs, he aaahs, he yelps, he dings, and he says things like, “a nightmare covered in molasses.”

This is the kind of thing missing in London. Mayhaps I have been unlucky in my selection of events to watch. I welcome all suggestions for events featuring unique commentary.

The best comment I have come across thus far is from boxing. I was taking a nap earlier in the week and figured boxing would do just fine as something to be largely ignored, and just before drifting off on the living room floor I heard a commentator start waxing poetic about the acting chops of Al Pacino, before declaring that the q quality of the dance depends on your partner—Fred Astaire always looked best dancing with Ginger Rogers. 

That’s pretty solid. Too bad I have no idea who noted commentator is, to whom he was referring—and I pretty much never intend to watch boxing again.

I should have thought that gymnastics commentators might have some wondrous things to say. I thought wrong. The mantra “if you’re gonna hop you wanna hop forward,” is burned into my aural memory.

Maybe Scott should start commenting on all sports all the time.

For some of my small-scale commenting, you should really be following JohannaAP25  on Twitter.