Super Bowl XLVI: The Commercials

First of all, I loved the musical NBC Super Bowl promo involving basically all of NBC singing and dancing to “Brotherhood of Man” from How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying. It kind of made my day. Also, having been told by a reader of Bossy Pants that Tina Fey is a fan of musicals; and being myself a lover of musical theater, and also of that one episode of 30 Rock in which Jack Donaghy must work his way back up the corporate ladder from the mail room How to Succeed-style—well, it just brought me that much more joy (as, I hope, as dissecting that run-on sentence brought you).

The epic two-parter Volkswagen spot featuring the overweight dog getting into shape so that he can chase VW’s latest updated Beetle that segued into the Stars Wars cantina where patrons declare that the dog is way funnier than the Vader kid, so Darth Vader chokes one of them.

Which may or may not have reminded you of that Adidas Star Wars commercial from the 2010 World Cup. Things I was not particularly into included David Beckham’s H&M underwear ad, it did not seem fitting. Not as fitting as the Adidas masterpiece of yesteryear.

I was also entertained by the usually-reserved-for-Christmas Coca-Cola polar bears watching the Super Bowl series of spots.

I enjoyed the Drew Brees Chase commercial, largely because I enjoyed when his small child picked pieces of confetti out of the air after the Saints won the Super Bowl.

Now obviously, you are supposed to kind of hate the Ferris Bueller Honda spoof… but it’s hard to not kind of love it also.

I hated the John Stamos Oikos commercial, but I loved that it made me think about when Uncle Jesse tells the story of how he changed his name as a child, but you know that his original name had something to do with having really hot feet.

I was disappointed by every single beer commercial, and this one just made me so sad for the poor dog.

Sometimes I wonder when the Betty White exploitation train is going to end.

I do enjoy the entire world’s agreement that Jay Leno is a life ruiner.

And then my mother completely shocked us all by recognizing Brian Urlacher in the Samsung Galaxy Note musical “I Believe in a Thing Called Love” spot, which also happened to be hilarious.

Waiting in epic lines for a new iPhone is such a waste of life.

And then there was the second—albeit stretched—30 Rock-related commercial. You may recall the Alec Baldwin airplane incident in which the actor caused mayhem by refusing to turn off his cell phone prior to takeoff. Shortly afterwards, Tina Fey appeared on a late night talk show and joked that she and Alec had been in the middle of an intense game of Words With Friends, and that it was all her fault. This is your context for why I finally giggled towards the end of the Best Buy commercial featuring various inventors of crucial elements in our digital world… like the creators of Words With Friends being told to turn their phones off on a plane.

It’s not a huge winner, but I enjoyed the Words With Friends bit.

Golden Globes Round-up 2012: Who Loved Ricky Gervais’s Maroon Tux…

List style. Blam! Go.

Top Moments in [Roughly] Chronological Order (because why should I have to further organize my notes?)

• 

  abc.com

  Jodie Foster gamely thumbs-upped Ricky Gervais’s Beaver commentary at the opening monologue (and also her children look exactly like her).

• Ricky Gervais to Johnny Depp, after introducing him, says he has one question for Johnny… Are you ready? “Have you seen The Tourist yet?” “Ahh, no… Oh boy, he’s fun,” as Ricky walks off stage.
• Christopher Plummer. Period. I still get excited about Christopher Plummer on merit of my intense love for The Sound of Music, but I swear, I am going to see The Beginners. I promise.
• Kelsey Grammer could not possibly have been more blasé about his win for Boss: “Ah, well, this is very nice.” Yes, Kelsey, generally, one would say it is rather nice. Some people even choke up a bit (I mean, true, let’s not be over-indulgent), but… yes, it is very nice for you. Also, yes, announcer, we all remember Frasier. For the record we also remember and miss Seinfeld and Friends, back when NBC was “Must See” and not just the sad third-rated network… or whatever it is these days. Maybe it no longer even has a ranking (I cry bitter tear for you, NBC).
• 

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  Tina Fey’s photo bomb on Amy Poehler’s nominee shot. #golden

• Ludovic Bource’s acceptance speech for Best Score (The Artist) opened with the hilarious apology: “I’m sorry I’m French,” and continued on to the admittance that if his acceptance was a piece of music/dance, “It would be a tap dance.” There should always be more tap dancing in life. Always.
• Ricky Gervais introduced George Clooney as the “Cloonmeister General.” Clooney accepted the accolade with grace.
• Felicity Huffman and William H.Macy sang their bit of presenter banter, and it was actually pretty magical. 
• 

  EOnline.com/Jason Merrit/ Getty Images

  The answer to your query as to whether or not Nicole Kidman could actually breathe even once whilst teetering in her gown is: No, no she could not breath. I assume she cut herself out of the columnar gown ASAP and put on a nice sensible muumuu post-haste.

• Helen Mirren brought some humor to the Sidney Poitier presentation Morgan Freeman’s shiny new Cecil B. DeMille award. I just wanted Freeman and Poitier to hug it out.
• I love a man in tails. When Robert Downey Jr. came out to present in a full white tie and tailed tux (which he flipped out as he settled in front of the microphone), someone in the audience simply could not hold it together and shouted, “Yeah!” Agreed.
  

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• The only time  at which Leonardo DiCaprio abandoned his expression of utter confusion (aside from the look of exquisite non-amused-ness when he did not win in his category… again), was the smile that broke when Martin Scorsese won Best Director for Hugo. 
• I wish the sound has not cut out when Ricky Gervais introduced Antonio Banderas and Salma Hayek.
• The second apology for being French came from Jean Dujardin of The Artist as he accepted the Globe for Best Actor in a Comedy/Musical: “I’m French too… It’s not my fault my eyebrows are independent.” And then he mimed his joy—which was kind of magical. Make sure you catch his dancing as the camera pans away from the stage. 
• Colin Firth’s well-done swing back at Ricky as a form of Hollywood penance. 
• Here’s a scenario: Meryl Streep wins yet another Golden Globe, managed to act surprised, bustles her way up to the stage, realizes that she’s forgotten her glasses and will have to actually remember her prepared comments rather than read them. In a team effort moment, her reading glasses get passed up from her table to the front of the stage, where George Clooney hand them to David Fincher, who absolutely cannot get his shit together and hand Meryl Streep her flipping reading glasses. Fincher proceeds  to sit there as she attempts to remember the other nominees’ names (someone shouts out “Rooney”), whilst George Clooney thinks to himself, “Why on GOD’S SWEET EARTH, did I not just walk the extra three steps and hand Meryl the glasses myself, Fincher is such a tool.” Meanwhile the rest of us wonder if Meryl Streep is leaving the Golden Globes up one trophy but down one pair of reading glasses. Fincher stole them.
• 

  huffingtonpost.com

  And in adorable moments of the night, we have the famous dog from The Artist who not only attended the Golden Globes (they really need to fill seats), but got to scamper up on stage as part of the accepting party when The Artist won Best Comedy/Musical. Thoughts after the win: “I am the famous Artist dog, Uggie, where is my treat? I’m adorable, but that doesn’t mean I am any less famished than any other dog at any given time.”

Musical Monday Again: Alec Baldwin & South Pacific

Long months bereft of 30 Rock lay before us.

Tina Fey’s pregnancy is really messing up my television viewing.

At any rate, last week a sidenote to a Gawker post brought my attention to this video of Alec Baldwin performing South Pacific in concert at Carnegie Hall in 2005.

I particularly enjoy when Baldwin loses his spot in the script, leaving Reba to sass him until the appropriate page is located.

“It Shouldn’t Be Called the SAG Award, It Should Be Called the Uplifting Award!”

Anthony Andrews, Rush, Carter, Firth/ cbsnews.com

Oh Geoffrey Rush, that was so cheesy (although true story, ‘SAG Awards’ does not have a great ring to it).

As spokesman for The King’s Speech cast, Rush opened his acceptance remarks with this pun-y observation. He went on to emphasize the category of the win: outstanding ensemble cast in a motion picture, extending the credit far beyond himself, Colin Firth and Helena Bonham Carter (who—look at that—was dressed quite conservatively for her track record). Very graciously, top to bottom, everyone from Freya Wilson who played young Queen Elizabeth to everyone’s favorite warlock, Michael Gambon were mentioned and credited.

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Also, just so you are not disappointed by Carter’s normalcy in that group photo, have a gander at her red carpet pose.

What else?

When Firth went up to accept his “Actor” for leading role in The King’s Speech, it was brought to our attention that he was part of the winning ensemble cast of Shakespeare in Love. I had no idea Firth was even in that movie.

Modern Family’s best TV ensemble in a comedy series saved us from having to see Lea Michelle well up in what are surely fake tears again—so that was good. Plus Nolan Gould spent his journey up to the stage high-fiving people at tables along the way.

Nolan Gould/ imdb.com

Amy Poehler presented a description of her ideal sandwich, and then revealed that it could just as well describe the nominees for best actor in a comedy series. Then Alec Baldwin managed to stir up some surprise on his face as he got up for the fifth year in a row to accept his “Actor”for 30 Rock.

Next, Jon Hamm expressed his disappointment at having not been nominated for best female actor in a comedy series, before bitterly presenting the award to a flabbergasted Betty White for Hot in Cleveland, which I have never seen but maybe I should.

Betty White, Jon Hamm/ cbsnews.com

After about three years of instrumental vamping, White managed to get up to the stage where she joked about how long it took to “get the old broad up here” and that nobody had applauded her when she turned 40, after reflected on what a joy it was to still be in the biz and winning awards at 89 years old.

She also flirted with her naked statuette.

 

Natalie Portman/ blogs.timeslive.co.za

Later in the night Natalie Portman got to accept—for the second time in mere weeks—another trophy from Jeff Bridges for her performance in Black Swan. Not to be outdone by her awkward Golden Globes speech, this time Portman went for getting bleeped in a special thank you to her parents: ““I’d like to thank my parents, who taught me to work my hardest and never be an asshole.”

 

Maybe she is trying to get it all out of her system in public before the baby is born.

In his best actor acceptance, Colin Firth thanked security for letting him into the place, based on the fact that for years as a young British actor he would flash around his beloved Screen Actors Guild card in the vain hope that it would get him perks and ladies.

Claire Danes/ cbsnews.com

The award for only person to get cut off at the 2011 SAGs goes to Claire Danes who picked up another laurel for her work in Temple Grandin, blustering towards the end about her “favorite husband… euh… favorite actor… my husband…” Oh Claire.

Dicky Eklund, Christian Bale/ cbsnews.com

The award for most hilarious/ terrifying candid shot of the night goes to Christian Bale and Dicky Eklund (the guy Bale portrayed in The Fighter) onstage as Bale is accepting his “Actor” for best supporting.

Also, while I appreciate that Bale looks less like Jesus than he did at the Golden Globes, I am still a little disturbed by the facial hair situation.

Julianna Margolis, Carter/ cbsnews.com

Best photo for a false caption stars Julianna Margolis and Helena Bonham Carter, in which I imagine Carter is telling Margolis, “No, you just really have to go for it. Let it be free.” She is clearly talking about the shellac with which Margolis has restrained her hair and recommending the benefits of a more windswept look.

To tie things up, I was not swept away by anyone’s dress really, but I did like Mila Kunis’ red and pink floralness and Tina Fey’s sassy red situation. Let’s all pick it up a notch at the Oscars, OK?

Mila Kunis/ fashion.telegraph.co.uk

Tina Fey/ fashion.telegraph.co.uk

Golden Globes: Speeches, Fashion, Audience Spy-Cam, & Why Was Ricky Gervais Hosting Again?

Well the Golden Globes—that drunken pre-game party to the Oscars—went down Sunday evening. What a joy. I missed much of the red carpet situation, but unluckily for me I did manage to catch Ricky Gervais’ opening monologue, leading me to wonder: how did he get asked back to host, and for heaven’s sake will it happen again next year?

Sure, his snippets were occasionally funny. Emphasis on the occasional aspect. Overall, that laughter you heard was nervous, horrified and embarrassed twittering. We all know that Charlie Sheen, Tom Cruise and Mel Gibson are crazy. Give it up. My main beef with his repertoire is not that it is too mean or harsh, but rather that a lot of what he said sounded tired, and indeed had already been touched upon at last year’s Golden Globes. Plus, thick skins aside: if no one in the room is laughing at a particular quip, then as a comedian you have a bit of a problem on your hands.

The really funny thing is that Gervais looks as though he knows he is bombing it, and just hoping for someone to pull him off-stage with a cane or umbrella handle, ending the whole affair.

Here’s an idea: Pay Tina Fey whatever she wants and have her do it. Everyone loves Tina and her continued loyalty to the writing side of things.

Moving on.

Here is my own personal award for the night: Cutest Golden Globes Moment goes to Kaley Cuoco presenting Jim Parsons with the Golden Globe for Best Actor in a TV Series, Comedy or Musical. It’s adorable because they are both on the show and she literally could not contain herself and was jumping up and down. Also they both have kind of funny voices.

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Spare us the adorbs moments you might say; where are the dresses?

Two words: Olivia Wilde. Two more words: best dress. Two more: sparkly and poufy.

Need I say more?

Note her shoes.

Most heinous dress of the night? Dear January Jones, first you host one of the worst Saturday Night Lives in recent memory (last winter), then you show up to the Golden Globes in this.

Has the good design of Mad Men had absolutely no effect on you?

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My favorite random audience footage moment of the night is a tie. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt vs. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt.

Early-ish on in the proceedings the cameras inevitably panned towards the pair. Clearly they were drawn in by the extremely geometric shoulder pads on Jolie’s Golden Girls-esque gown (I did not approve of it at all, by the way). The first incident involved Jolie turning around and—I imagine—somewhat exasperatedly attending to the correcting of Mr. Pitt’s bow tie. I imagine the conversation going something like this:

Angelina: “I specifically got you a clip-on bow tie so that we could avoid having this scene in front of all our friends and haters.”

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Brad: “Oh Angie, you’re so perfect, I figured I’d better just let you do it. Also I hate bow ties. They’re very constricting.”

The French word for bow tie is papillon. It also means butterfly. Maybe they were speaking French.

The second incident occurred during Robert DeNiro’s speech in acceptance of his Cecil B. DeMille Award. Jolie just whipped out the lip gloss, because sometimes you just need to fix your face. I do not recall have ever seen anyone do such a thing under the lens of the audience spy cameras. I found it entertaining.

Also entertaining were some of DeNiro’s reflections on his life’s work.

GoldenGlobes.org

Things like recognizing it is a good thing the Hollywood Foreign Press selected him for the lifetime achievement award before they had a chance to review Little Fockers.

 

True story.

Other parts of his speech reminded us that even someone like Robert DeNiro can be really awkward.

What else was awkward?

Natalie Portman & Jeff Bridges/GoldenGlobes.org

When Natalie Portman got up to accept her Globe for Best Actress (Black Swan: just saw it, still reeling—so is my sister) she gave a lovely little thank you to her grandmother for birthing her mother, and then to her mother and father who were there with her, for birthing her. Then she went on to thank fiancé Benjamin Millepied for continuing that journey of creation with her. OK, fine, sure. She’s having a baby, she’s happy and thankful, OK.

She goes on to point out who Millepied is by telling us that in the Black Swan scene where one of the male dancers agrees that he would not sleep with Portman’s character because she is so not seductive—that’s him! And, “he’s best actor, it’s not true—he totally wants to sleep with me!” Nervous, high-pitched laughter ensued from the lady and audience.

She also told presenter Jeff Bridges that she loved him.

Oh Natalie.

Johnny Depp /GoldenGlobes.org

Notable appearances in the accessories department? Transitions lenses. It would appear that many a celeb has in invested in clear-to-shaded lens technology for their glasses. It also appears that even the famed and fortuned suffer the same embarrassing side effects of Transitions as my parents: sometimes those high-tech lenses simply cannot tell if you are inside or outside, cloudy or sunny, or just under really bright lights. I am talking to you Robert Downey, Jr., Johnny Depp and Tim Allen. Yes I am.

(Sidenote: Ricky Gervais was right about one thing—what on earth does Tim Allen do anymore besides Toy Story?)

GoldenGlobes.org

And finally, Honorable Mention of the Night goes to Helena Bonham Carter for being just plain crazy but fabulous, even when she wears some of the things that she wears, whether it’s a Harry Potter premiere or the Golden Globes.

Again, you have to note the shoes.

Things You Need to Know From the Past Week or So

In case you don’t follow me on Twitter, which honestly, you really should because I am just a wealth of wonderful information, quips and minutiae… I am going to go all bullet points on you and note a couple things that you should note if you haven’t already.

1. George W. Bush’s mother put a miscarried fetus in a jar and that somehow made Dubya super pro-life. Dear creepy, stop. Old news by now, but still. Ew.
2. Johnny Weir will be judging—aka utilizing his second nature—on ABC’s Skating with the Stars, a post-Olympic year take-off of Dancing with the Stars which is sure to be horrid and amazing all at the same time. I cannot wait.
3. Scott Hamilton returned to comment on figure skating at Skate America and there will be a post to follow, revealing all the magic.
4. On the final and drunkest hour of the The Today Show, Kathie Lee and Hoda recently re-created the evolution of dance YouTube video. Kathie Lee threw a tantrum the entire time. Hoda got really excited about “getting low” and the whole thing is hilarious and merits watching to the end. Promise.
5. A coyote was spotting gamboling down State Street in Chicago moments after my “Fear the Coyote” post, thus confirming all my fears ever and that I suffer not because I live in the wilderness but because they have no fear. Note that last year one wandered into a Loop restaurant and just hung out unnoticed for way too long.
6. I learned by watching Conan that that really is Jack McBrayer’s voice.
7. And if you really live under a rock, Tina Fey won the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. Amy Poehler said she was rocking the Evita essence.
8. Lastly, Andy Samberg’s SNL digital short about the Model UN was fully hilarious and my sister and I might be in the process of memorizing it inadvertently, because we like to shout it randomly at each other. You heard it here first.
9. The Chicago Sun-Times misspelled Kate Middleton as “Middleman” throughout an entire article on her and Prince William’s engagement in today’s paper. It was the saddest thing I ever skimmed, because in another article that was specifically about her ring, they had the spelling correct. Does this mean I can get a job as fact-checker or something?
10. And last but not least—in fact most—the Beatles are finally on iTunes, and I found out from Voldemorte. (P.S. if you have an extra ticket for Harry Potter this weekend, call me).

 

Hiatus

Ok, so I took myself a little (a lot) hiatus, but if Tina Fey gets one, shouldn’t I? I mean, my life is super busy too.

Possibly I should have mentioned that I’d be taking a break to make a major move (dear six flights of stairs, I hate you still; I also hate 108 degree summer days, for the record), do some traveling and generally stagnate for a while in order to come back fresh with awesomeness.

It’s going to be awesome.

What’s coming up you might ask. WELL: I’m going to be (according to my calculations) just a couple yards off the field for a USA Men’s National Soccer Team friendly versus Poland at Soldier Field in Chicago next Saturday. I will clearly have my camera and beloved vuvuzela with me (dear the best going away present ever from one of my favorite Brooklynites—such a Brooklynite).

So, get ready for that madness.

Oh, and I would still really like you to hire me.

The Ladies of Saturday Night

NBC.com

[tweetmeme source=”JohannaAP25″] In case you live under a rock, the Facebook driven Betty White episode of Saturday Night Live finally happened this past weekend. the episode was a “Women of Comedy” night, reuniting past female cast members Rachel Dratch, Tina Fey, Ana Gasteyer, Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph and Molly Shannon.

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It was amazing. If you missed it, you need to  get on your OnDemand, Hulu it, usurp your neighbor’s DVR– whatever you need to do to get it done. Your life will be illuminated.

NBC.com

Betty White came out for her monologue wearing an appropriately sparkly Golden Girls-esqy twin-set. She opened by thanking Facebook– “a huge waste of time”– for getting her on the show as a host at the age of 88 and a half years old, “So it’s great to be here for a number of reasons… But now I’m here tonight because you wanted me to be, and I feel so loved.”

With so many other hilarious ladies in tow, White definitely benefited from the revival of plum sketches and characters from the past decade or so, in addition to a some favorite current bits such as Kenan Thompson’s scared straight routine.

But about those old best of the best favorites…

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Ana Gasteyer and Molly Shannon brought back “Delicious Dish” on NPR with a hilarious double-entendre centered around Betty White’s muffins. There was a giant muffin as well. This challenge to the classic Alec Baldwin “Schweddy Balls” skit required a lot of tweeting and– I am going to go out on a limb– that muffin easily gives the balls a run for their money.

Molly Shannon was back later with another legendary character that brought me right back to junior high days of watching SNL: Sally O’Malley was back,  fifty (sidebar: I really hope that in a few years when Shannon actually is fifty, they have her back to reprise yet again) and kicking just as defiantly as ever. However, Dotty O’Donaghan was on set to challenge Sally as AARP representative extraordinaire: White’s Dotty is 90, and thus a just a touch less active that Sally: “I like to stand, I like to bend– and I like to sit.” Sass, sass and more sass; that is what you get from Betty White always.

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Will you just look at those cheek bones? Plus, based on the continued existence of Sally O’Malley’s dressy sweat suit situation, I wonder if they still have Ana Gasteyer’s dress from her days singing awkward tunes with Will Ferrell as Bobbie Mohan-Culp, because I was pretty sure that I saw that exact dress at a thrift shop on First Avenue recently… but perhaps I was mistaken.

And do you note how thoroughly amused Seth Meyers is in the image above? Beyond the complete delightfulness of Episode 1575 as a piece of entertainment peppered with White’s surprisingly dirty mouth, razor-sharp delivery and cheekbones, let us take a moment to reflect on the giddiness of the entire cast and brigade of guest stars. People were on the verge of completely losing it throughout the night. During the Weekend Update segment, Meyers just gave up and reveled in the performance as a spectator.

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And it just kept getting better.

“Really!?” came back, first with Seth and Amy, and then out of the necessity of a Greek commentator, Tina Fey joined in to chastise the Greek economy. Reaction to the Greek retirement age of 54 years old: “Greek people in America work the register at the diner ’til they die!”

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And while Meyers always looks to be on the verge of breaking, even Poehler had a few moments of twitchy lips during Fey’s rant. It was indicative of the all-star evening… really. During the Lorenzo McIntosh scared straight sketch, Bill Hader oscillated between looking like he was having an aneurysm or the best time ever. It was probably the latter.

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Towards the end of the show, the entire ensemble sang “Thank You for Being a Friend.” And then White said that although they had done a very nice job, she preferred her own heavy metal version.

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Everybody has their preferences.

America prefers Betty White. And the Ladies of Comedy. And their versatility and genius. And I wish wish wish that every week could be even half as fantastic as this one.

Oh and if this Weekend Update said anything, it said that Seth Meyers could really use a buddy up there, even though we’re clearly all fans.

I could go on. I could recap Maya Rudolph’s hilarious stint as Whitney Houston on Update. I could discuss Amy Poehler and her baby bump kicking it as Gingey, the turn-of-the-century lesbian tomboy. I could note how hilarious it was to see Betty White introduce Jay-Z.

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Instead, I will leave you with my favorite bumper photo of the night and urge you to watch the episode yourself and stop being a failure at life.

Tracy Morgan on the A List

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[tweetmeme source=”JohannaAP25″]
I am a big fan of 30 Rock. I adore Tina, Alec, Tracy, the foreign girl writer, the black writer who went to Harvard, the Indian kid who used to be on Weeds, the writer dude with the hats and all the rest of the gang. I get sad for them when an episode disappoints and I rejoice when I am so filled with laughter that I feel the need to instantly tweet a choice line.

It happens.

It also happens that I am vastly entertained by Tracy Morgan, although I do admit to occasionally tripping over Jordan vs. Morgan.

Just another thing that happens.

Tina Fey recently made an appearance on The Late Show, promoting Date Night. Letterman and Fey got to chatting about Morgan, prompting Fey to query: “Does he make sense when he’s here?”

people.com

“No.”

A definitive ‘no’ from Letterman.

Fey then went on to reflect on–and do a hilarious impersonation of–the strange way Morgan has of saying things. Apparently there was once a hot blonde dancer lady on the set in Long Island City and everyone was giving a shot at hitting on her. Morgan– master of the bizarre turn of phrase– went up to the woman and said, “You look like you should be be married to one of the San Diego Padres.”

The impersonation was eerily similar to the one that my father does of Morgan by way of shouting, “Liz Lemon!” etc, etc, at me.

Yet another thing that just tends to happen.

And this is why I hate wearing my glasses. And that dress I have that Fey wore during the second season of 30 Rock.

dailyshow.com

A re-run of Fey’s appearance on The Late Show aired the same night (April 15, 2010) that Morgan visited The Daily Show to promote his new movie Death at a Funeral. Hilarity ensued.

“J. Stew! Stew Beef!”

“Please don’t make people on the street shout that at me!”

Apparently Morgan had been on the show less than a month earlier for the promotion of Cop Out–which I am sorry but those trailers were entertaining to me, they just were. It appears that Stewart had exceeded the advisable quota of Morgan hysterics for one month, because he lost his composure no less than about four-thousand times.

As Morgan came onto the set Stewart opened by declaring that Morgan smelled really special. Morgan’s reply? “It’s a new fragrance: Tito Jackson, the special fragrance for bass players.”

Morgan  went on to explain how he is now fully A-list. He also explained that, “Coming on this show, you gotta have a GED, gotta have a diploma or something.”

“I’m A-list!”

“You smell A-list!”

And to be on twice in such close proximity! Of all the Daily Show guests, Morgan’s appearances have been the closest in succession. Ponder that elite A-list status, will you?

dailyshow.com

Morgan went on to shed a little light of his own on the whole Tiger Woods debacle. Stewart brought up the controversial tweets in which Jim Carrey had thrown some blame to Elin Nordegen and Morgan noted the essence of golf: “That’s what golfing is about. It’s about getting out of the house, away from your wife! It’s golf!”

I mean… he has a point. About golf.

Mysteriously an audience member had a hot tip for Stewart regarding the interview. He was told to ask Morgan if it was true that he hadn’t seen Spiderman because Tobey Maguire owes him $75.00.

“True …It had something to do with Governor Spitzer… it’s a long story.”

“What could you get with $75.00?”

“Oh, you’d be surprised!”

In one last worlds colliding moment, Morgan inexplicably asked, “Remember Moses? With Charlton Heston?”

My favorite spring holiday piece of cinema. Favorite.

dailyshow.com

And then Jon Stewart said exactly what I was thinking: ‘Tracy Morgan, I would like to follow you around for a week.”

bust.com

Morgan was also recently featured as the cover boy of this month’s BUST magazine as their headlining interview. The issue is the “Men We Love” edition, mainly full of hugely entertaining men like Morgan: Will Arnett, Aziz Ansari, Will Forte, etc.

In the interview one gets to learn a little bit about the relationship with Fey: “Well, when we’re at work we’re like brother and sister in the sandbox. And then when we leave the sandbox, she goes to her house and I goes to my house and that’s how it is. We play nicely in the sandbox.”

Way to ruin the assumption that everyone on television is secretly besties. Way.

Actually, the article covers a lot of serious ground– strikingly unlike his talk show interviews– such as his rough times childhood in Bed-Stuy, relationships with women and the mid-aughts when he faced DUI charges among other issues, all topics covered in his autobiography I Am the New Black.

But really this serious side in no way changes the fact that “Tracy Morgan, I would like to follow you around for a week,” or maybe just even a day.

Oh Gossip… and Non-News & Nonsense

[tweetmeme source=”JohannaAP25″]

SO maybe Liz Taylor is not headed down the aisle again. Today says she is not. The View holds that she is. With such reputable sources, bolstered by US Weekly, it is hard to tell.

But, don’t you still love that White Diamonds commercial?

Other things of note from this morning:

Kathie Lee & Hoda tried the grilled and the fried versions of the KFC “Double Down” non-sandwich, which makes its debut today… ga-ross, and sha-ameful. Kathie Lee generously noted that the fried one had more calories and then told Hoda to take that one. Of course, she instantly regretted this choice because if she is going to “be bad” she would rather fully embrace the badness.

The new exposé on Oprah by Kitty Kelley is most likely a whole crock of shit, and the ladies on The View will not be entertaining it in their lives. John Tesh? Huh?

nydailynews.com

Jim Carrey made waves over the weekend by tweeting about the Tiger Woods scandal and laying accusatory blame on Elin Nordegen:

“Tiger Woods owes nothing 2 anyone but himself.”

“No wife is blind enough to miss that much infidelity…”Elin had 2 b a willing participant on the ride 4 whatever reason.”

Apparently the Masters was won by a morally befitting individual in Phil Mickelson.

And of course, Tina Fey was fantastic over the weekend as Sarah Palin on Saturday Night Live, where she launched her own Oprah-style Sarah Palin Network and won the show 9.2 million viewers.

NBC via Hulu.com

This is what I have learned this morning. Time to go back to reading actual news.

Oh and Glee is back tomorrow. I have only seen it once, but apparently people are into it. Whatever.