Tag Archives: Golden Globes

Golden Globes, Part 2: Additional Honorable Mentions & Fashion

After a little SOPA/PIPA self-interruption… I shall reward the masses with additional minor thoughts on the Golden Globes. A little Thursday delight.

Three More Special Moments

  • In Ricky Gervais’ opening monologue he read out restraints placed on him by the Hollywood Foreign Press Association. One was in regards to profanity to which Gervais responded, “That’s fine. I’ve got a huge vocabulary. No nudity: See that’s a shame because I’ve got a huge [pause]…vocabulary—but a tiny penis.”
  • Claire Danes, upon winning Best Actress in a Television Series—Drama for her role in Homeland, reminded us that she won her first Golden Globe (of three) when she was fifteen-years-old in the same category. The series was My So-Called Life, and she burst into tears as soon as she left the stage, horrified that she had forgotten to thank her parents. I bet they bring it up at every major family gathering—wouldn’t yours? But really, it just made me giggle to remember how much everyone in my age group loves My So-Called Life, and how it is perpetually in my Netflix queue as some sort monument in memorandum to my youth.
  • Matt Leblanc won Best Actor in a Television Series—Comedy/Musical for Episodes. Period. That was a highlight to my life, as someone who can recite the entire ten-year run of Friends. A fairly run-of-the-mill acceptance speech becomes adorable when halfway through Leblanc cuts himself off and exclaims: “Wow, I’m so nervous!” And doesn’t he look ever so dapper with grey hair?

Let’s go ahead and end with a slide show of noteworthy gowns—mostly good, but two that just befuddle me. Disclaimer: I missed most of the red carpet action… again.

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Golden Globes Round-up 2012: Who Loved Ricky Gervais’s Maroon Tux…

List style. Blam! Go.

Top Moments in [Roughly] Chronological Order (because why should I have to further organize my notes?)

  • abc.com

    Jodie Foster gamely thumbs-upped Ricky Gervais’s Beaver commentary at the opening monologue (and also her children look exactly like her).

  • Ricky Gervais to Johnny Depp, after introducing him, says he has one question for Johnny… Are you ready? “Have you seen The Tourist yet?” “Ahh, no… Oh boy, he’s fun,” as Ricky walks off stage.
  • Christopher Plummer. Period. I still get excited about Christopher Plummer on merit of my intense love for The Sound of Music, but I swear, I am going to see The Beginners. I promise.
  • Kelsey Grammer could not possibly have been more blasé about his win for Boss: “Ah, well, this is very nice.” Yes, Kelsey, generally, one would say it is rather nice. Some people even choke up a bit (I mean, true, let’s not be over-indulgent), but… yes, it is very nice for you. Also, yes, announcer, we all remember Frasier. For the record we also remember and miss Seinfeld and Friends, back when NBC was “Must See” and not just the sad third-rated network… or whatever it is these days. Maybe it no longer even has a ranking (I cry bitter tear for you, NBC).
  • nymag.com

    Tina Fey’s photo bomb on Amy Poehler’s nominee shot. #golden

  • Ludovic Bource’s acceptance speech for Best Score (The Artist) opened with the hilarious apology: “I’m sorry I’m French,” and continued on to the admittance that if his acceptance was a piece of music/dance, “It would be a tap dance.” There should always be more tap dancing in life. Always.
  • Ricky Gervais introduced George Clooney as the “Cloonmeister General.” Clooney accepted the accolade with grace.
  • Felicity Huffman and William H.Macy sang their bit of presenter banter, and it was actually pretty magical. 
  • EOnline.com/Jason Merrit/ Getty Images

    The answer to your query as to whether or not Nicole Kidman could actually breathe even once whilst teetering in her gown is: No, no she could not breath. I assume she cut herself out of the columnar gown ASAP and put on a nice sensible muumuu post-haste.

  • Helen Mirren brought some humor to the Sidney Poitier presentation Morgan Freeman’s shiny new Cecil B. DeMille award. I just wanted Freeman and Poitier to hug it out.
  • I love a man in tails. When Robert Downey Jr. came out to present in a full white tie and tailed tux (which he flipped out as he settled in front of the microphone), someone in the audience simply could not hold it together and shouted, “Yeah!” Agreed.


  • The only time  at which Leonardo DiCaprio abandoned his expression of utter confusion (aside from the look of exquisite non-amused-ness when he did not win in his category… again), was the smile that broke when Martin Scorsese won Best Director for Hugo. 
  • I wish the sound has not cut out when Ricky Gervais introduced Antonio Banderas and Salma Hayek.
  • The second apology for being French came from Jean Dujardin of The Artist as he accepted the Globe for Best Actor in a Comedy/Musical: “I’m French too… It’s not my fault my eyebrows are independent.” And then he mimed his joy—which was kind of magical. Make sure you catch his dancing as the camera pans away from the stage. 
  • Colin Firth’s well-done swing back at Ricky as a form of Hollywood penance. 
  • Here’s a scenario: Meryl Streep wins yet another Golden Globe, managed to act surprised, bustles her way up to the stage, realizes that she’s forgotten her glasses and will have to actually remember her prepared comments rather than read them. In a team effort moment, her reading glasses get passed up from her table to the front of the stage, where George Clooney hand them to David Fincher, who absolutely cannot get his shit together and hand Meryl Streep her flipping reading glasses. Fincher proceeds  to sit there as she attempts to remember the other nominees’ names (someone shouts out “Rooney”), whilst George Clooney thinks to himself, “Why on GOD’S SWEET EARTH, did I not just walk the extra three steps and hand Meryl the glasses myself, Fincher is such a tool.” Meanwhile the rest of us wonder if Meryl Streep is leaving the Golden Globes up one trophy but down one pair of reading glasses. Fincher stole them.
  • huffingtonpost.com

    And in adorable moments of the night, we have the famous dog from The Artist who not only attended the Golden Globes (they really need to fill seats), but got to scamper up on stage as part of the accepting party when The Artist won Best Comedy/Musical. Thoughts after the win: “I am the famous Artist dog, Uggie, where is my treat? I’m adorable, but that doesn’t mean I am any less famished than any other dog at any given time.”

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You Thought I Forgot About Helena, Didn’t You?

As you may have noticed, I have been tracking Helena Bonham-Carter’s red carpet looks over the past few months. From Harry Potter: Deathly Hallows, Part 1 to the SAG Awards, she has brought her own personal fashion crazy to the carpet.

Thus, she gets her own slide show in the final round-up of award season posts.

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What have we learned?

Helena likes beaded clutches shaped like fans and lips. Especially fans.

She wears legit Harry Potter glasses. She wears a lot of black. She likes full skirts and corset tops (possibly stemming from her early period film days). She is a little fashion crazy.

You would have to be a little kooky to be with Tim Burton, right?


Love it.

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Golden Globes: Speeches, Fashion, Audience Spy-Cam, & Why Was Ricky Gervais Hosting Again?

Well the Golden Globes—that drunken pre-game party to the Oscars—went down Sunday evening. What a joy. I missed much of the red carpet situation, but unluckily for me I did manage to catch Ricky Gervais’ opening monologue, leading me to wonder: how did he get asked back to host, and for heaven’s sake will it happen again next year?

Sure, his snippets were occasionally funny. Emphasis on the occasional aspect. Overall, that laughter you heard was nervous, horrified and embarrassed twittering. We all know that Charlie Sheen, Tom Cruise and Mel Gibson are crazy. Give it up. My main beef with his repertoire is not that it is too mean or harsh, but rather that a lot of what he said sounded tired, and indeed had already been touched upon at last year’s Golden Globes. Plus, thick skins aside: if no one in the room is laughing at a particular quip, then as a comedian you have a bit of a problem on your hands.

The really funny thing is that Gervais looks as though he knows he is bombing it, and just hoping for someone to pull him off-stage with a cane or umbrella handle, ending the whole affair.

Here’s an idea: Pay Tina Fey whatever she wants and have her do it. Everyone loves Tina and her continued loyalty to the writing side of things.

Moving on.

Here is my own personal award for the night: Cutest Golden Globes Moment goes to Kaley Cuoco presenting Jim Parsons with the Golden Globe for Best Actor in a TV Series, Comedy or Musical. It’s adorable because they are both on the show and she literally could not contain herself and was jumping up and down. Also they both have kind of funny voices.


Spare us the adorbs moments you might say; where are the dresses?

Two words: Olivia Wilde. Two more words: best dress. Two more: sparkly and poufy.

Need I say more?

Note her shoes.

Most heinous dress of the night? Dear January Jones, first you host one of the worst Saturday Night Lives in recent memory (last winter), then you show up to the Golden Globes in this.

Has the good design of Mad Men had absolutely no effect on you?


My favorite random audience footage moment of the night is a tie. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt vs. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt.

Early-ish on in the proceedings the cameras inevitably panned towards the pair. Clearly they were drawn in by the extremely geometric shoulder pads on Jolie’s Golden Girls-esque gown (I did not approve of it at all, by the way). The first incident involved Jolie turning around and—I imagine—somewhat exasperatedly attending to the correcting of Mr. Pitt’s bow tie. I imagine the conversation going something like this:

Angelina: “I specifically got you a clip-on bow tie so that we could avoid having this scene in front of all our friends and haters.”


Brad: “Oh Angie, you’re so perfect, I figured I’d better just let you do it. Also I hate bow ties. They’re very constricting.”

The French word for bow tie is papillon. It also means butterfly. Maybe they were speaking French.

The second incident occurred during Robert DeNiro’s speech in acceptance of his Cecil B. DeMille Award. Jolie just whipped out the lip gloss, because sometimes you just need to fix your face. I do not recall have ever seen anyone do such a thing under the lens of the audience spy cameras. I found it entertaining.

Also entertaining were some of DeNiro’s reflections on his life’s work.


Things like recognizing it is a good thing the Hollywood Foreign Press selected him for the lifetime achievement award before they had a chance to review Little Fockers.


True story.

Other parts of his speech reminded us that even someone like Robert DeNiro can be really awkward.

What else was awkward?

Natalie Portman & Jeff Bridges/GoldenGlobes.org

When Natalie Portman got up to accept her Globe for Best Actress (Black Swan: just saw it, still reeling—so is my sister) she gave a lovely little thank you to her grandmother for birthing her mother, and then to her mother and father who were there with her, for birthing her. Then she went on to thank fiancé Benjamin Millepied for continuing that journey of creation with her. OK, fine, sure. She’s having a baby, she’s happy and thankful, OK.

She goes on to point out who Millepied is by telling us that in the Black Swan scene where one of the male dancers agrees that he would not sleep with Portman’s character because she is so not seductive—that’s him! And, “he’s best actor, it’s not true—he totally wants to sleep with me!” Nervous, high-pitched laughter ensued from the lady and audience.

She also told presenter Jeff Bridges that she loved him.

Oh Natalie.

Johnny Depp /GoldenGlobes.org

Notable appearances in the accessories department? Transitions lenses. It would appear that many a celeb has in invested in clear-to-shaded lens technology for their glasses. It also appears that even the famed and fortuned suffer the same embarrassing side effects of Transitions as my parents: sometimes those high-tech lenses simply cannot tell if you are inside or outside, cloudy or sunny, or just under really bright lights. I am talking to you Robert Downey, Jr., Johnny Depp and Tim Allen. Yes I am.

(Sidenote: Ricky Gervais was right about one thing—what on earth does Tim Allen do anymore besides Toy Story?)


And finally, Honorable Mention of the Night goes to Helena Bonham Carter for being just plain crazy but fabulous, even when she wears some of the things that she wears, whether it’s a Harry Potter premiere or the Golden Globes.

Again, you have to note the shoes.


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Mayhem at the “Globes”

[tweetmeme style=”compact” source=”JohannaAP25″]

So for this one, I’m going to go with my favorite old school way of just writing a list of things that I enjoyed about the Golden Globes, which I really sort of hate calling “The Globes.” It just doesn’t work for me. You know what else doesn’t work for me? The tacky title formating this year that may or may not of have come right out of Power Point (yes Kathleen, I know how to use Power Point… it’s on my resumé, duh). On the other hand, as soon as the ceremony started I realized that the Golden Globes theme music is satisfyingly familiar. It was weird.

Red Carpet Things:

  • Mariah Carey is out of control and I thankfully did not suffer nightmares about her cleavage taking over the world last night, but it was a major fear of mine as I set off to bed. Like… really?! Are you kidding me with that dress? And was it just me, or did her head look freakishly small in comparison?
  • I think everyone made at least one comment on the bearded lumberjack look: George Clooney, John Hamm, and Jason Bateman for example. Oh, and by everyone, I mean me and Kathleen.
  • And while they have been enumerated elsewhere to death, the endless NBC jibes were pretty enjoyable, as was Tina Fey forecasting that she and the rest of 30 Rock would just be getting drunk that night, rather than winning anything.
  • Tracy Morgan wore a white tux jacket. That’s all.

Ceremony Things:

  • The second we got a view of the seating arrangements we all had to wonder, how did Julia Roberts end up getting to sit next to Paul McCartney, to be followed up with, how did she retain composure? It only got better when she got on stage and confronted the situation by noting that never had she received so many text messages.
  • After Ricky Gervais’ dig at McCartney fell flat, Sir Paul carried on by referring to himself as “that guy from Rockband.” I will never get tired of noting things related to Beatles Rockband. Like How The Onion’s A/V club named it one of the top ten games of the last decade (and the only one that I own). And to further digress: McCartney’s presence in general inspired a conversation regarding Beatles crushes and what bird Paul McCartney looks like. I said that he used to look like a sparrow, but the consensus is that he now looks like an owl. These things happen I suppose.
  • Neil Patrick Harris tweeted through the entire thing (car ride, seating arrangements, spoiler alerts…), including a picture of himself being terrified of Mickey Rourke… but really, can you blame him? Also pretty sure Rourke gave the envelope the “one eye” in order to read it when presenting. Pretty. Sure.
  • Among the many wastey faced celebrities, Maggie Gyllenhaal’s red-in-the-face attempt to keep a straight face during her plea for Haiti was particularly amusing to me. The general debauchery of the Golden Globes led to the conversation that established, “No I did not as a child note the open drunkenness at the Golden Globes.” Which is funny, because people are blatantly borderline out of control and Ricky Gervais started loosing aspects of his outfit early on, but really losing that black tie over the black shirt was a win-win situation.
  • Robert De Niro and Leonardo DiCaprio presented Martin Scorcese’s Cecil B. DeMille Award with much hilarity: “Marty eats, drinks and sleeps film. I hear that on the internet there are videos of Marty having sex with film. A hot reel of 35mm stock, black and white emulsion…ahhh… hard to pass up, eh Marty?” Amazing, followed by DiCaprio noting that now we know what everyone will be youtubing tonight. The Marty segment prompted “Where did Martin Scorcese get those hipster glasses?” “1943” And the title of my new up and coming biography: “The Original Hipster: The Martin Scorcese Story.”
  • “RT @kmwrather I’m glad they are playing that Ed Helms musical masterpiece for The Hangover So true, and really enough said. win. #goldenglobes”
  • Molly’s official reaction to the win after we had a shouting match and were calm enough to get down to official sound bite material: “I feel validated. They played the Tiger Song, they played the Tiger song. It was just funny. And Zach Galifianakis wasn’t there, which was sad, but I’m getting my 10 margaritas, so I feel validated.” As background, Molly bet a friend 10 margaritas that The Hangover would get an Oscar nomination, so she feels that things are on the right track. Also she likes to tell everyone that I hate the movie, I don’t hate it, I hate the way she makes me watch it every weekend. Just to clarify, I love the Ed Helms musical moment of joy.
  • Robert Downey, Jr. thanking his wife for telling him not to prepare anything to say because surely Matt Damon would win instead. Also his opening threat regarding what would happen if the producers played music over his speechness. So Beatrice’s favorite gets validation. I wonder if she reads this nonsense…
  • Remember that time Kate Winslet won last year and I just love love love love her? She was super classy last night. I just wanted to note my love. I can’t wait to relieve last years Oscars regarding her win for my three devoted readers when the time comes for such things. I might have to do a video of me gushing.
  • We decided that we enjoy “real deal” style couples like Tom Hanks & Rita Wilson, Kevin Bacon & Kyra Sedgwick and I enjoy Calista Flockhart and Harrison Ford, but maybe no one else does.
  • Speaking of Harrison Ford, my life was personally illuminated by his hilariously enthusiastic reaction to Sandra Bullock acceptance speech when she told her family to “put down the Maker’s Mark and go to bed.” Amazing.

Totally Random Things:

  • We had two appearances by women who have musical numbers dedicated to them in musicals: Jodie Foster (Assassins) and Meryl Streep, aka T-Bone? What? (Fame). I wish I had a musical number about me, maybe I can get a moment in the up and coming Waiting for Walsh. (Ignore this awful grammar, just ignore the punctuation and move on with your life. At least I’m not Dan Brown or his editor. Really.
  • We just managed to catch a shot of Amy Poehler (on whom I have a raging lady crush) during a commercial break making an excellent face and doing sarcastic air quotes, which according to Kathleen was very à la Johanna… I have to agree. I will cherish the televised memory of that moment until I forget. Because it was amazing, an actually, so was her on-stage fake banter for whatever she presented, with whomever she was bantering. Banter!

This is pretty long, so I think we’re done, but don’t worry, you’ll get to hear about my late night comedy drama nightmare soon enough. Plus, Kathleen might contribute a celebrity post consisting of a review of Dominos new recipe… wah wah wahhhhh.

PLUS: Are you getting ready for the Olympics? You should be. Gonna turn this apartment into Olympics central. Oh yeah.


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