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If missed the Ice Dancing original dance programs from last night you are either very lucky because your senses have not been scarred by terrifying costumes and musical choices, or you are very sad because you missed out on the chance to judge.
Here we go.
The most atrocious broadcasted incident of the evening was not unexpected for those of us familiar with recent ice dance competitions, but appalling just the same in both the sartorial and cultural sensitivity departments: I bring you the first-ranked-in-the-world Russians, Oksana Domnina and Maxim Shabalin dancing to Australian aboriginal music wearing… Well, that. Something you can’t see? Faux foliage stuck into their skates.
As the couple entered on to the ice Tom Hammond queried, “Looking ridiculous, does it affect the judges?” “Yes Tom, it does come into play, it is a subjective sport.” They were rewarded with “a lukewarm response at best.”
They of course claim no ill will, but it’s pretty ridiculous. I think most can agree with The View’s Joy Behar who posed, “It’s like skating porn, isn’t it?” Meanwhile, Barbara was just generally appalled at the state of the ice dancing world. Including the fact that many of the pairs are siblings: “there has to be a little sex there [in the tango compulsory dance from Friday]” so that’s awkward for everyone, really. Although in all fairness, that was a general statement neither aimed nor applicable to the Russians.
What else? Well, there were about a hundred cowboy/cowgirl couples which I found entirely horrifying. I was even heard to exclaim, “I’ve died and I’ve gone to hell.”
Frenchwoman Nathalie Pechalat sported a whip at her hip and cowboy boot skates, whilst her partner Fabian Bourza kept company with a host of other competitors by indulging in a hideous pair of chaps. Ga-ross.
The problem with the whole situation is that, much like the case of galactic duo of the pairs competition, these travesties of taste distract from the technical skill, artistry and general athletic prowess of the ice dancers, which after all is what the Olympic competition is about. The original dance became a heinous spectacle– and it is a shame.
There is one dance that I’m just sad I missed thanks to NBC: It seems that German team William and Christinia Beier danced the hula. Alas, I’ll have to get my internet to cooperate for that viewing delight. For more on the costumes, the music and the mayhem, check out Gawker’s recap… my rant must end before it doesn’t.