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The figure skating commentary was out of control last night. At one point, Scott Hamilton was describing a pair who had a particularly rough year (possibly the Germans, but I’m not sure) and actually spoke these words: “a nightmare covered in molasses.”
That is not an actual phrase that people use, Scott. I mean, I love you, but really? Really? No. And then throughout the entire final program (turned out to be the gold medal performance), the commentators were just gasping through the entire thing. Gasping, saying nothing useful. It was very distracting and led to the following such tweets:
@SlateOlympics In case you missed Scott Hamilton’s color commentary: “Ohhhhhh. Errrrrrffff. Arrrhrhgghggh.” Incisive!
@JohannaAP25 Fantastic end to pairs skating! Despite the gasp-parific commentary. #olympics
@kmwrather @JohannaAP25 Right?!? I was on my computer and looked up thinking, what is Mary Hart doing gasping on this commentary!?
Out of control.
And for those of you who live under a rock, the actual competition was delightful and the win by Chinese pair Xue Shen and Hongboe Zhao, the sentimental favorites who finally broke Russian dominance of the sport and took gold. Also enjoyable was another Chinese pair (Jian Tong and Qing Pang) skating to music from Man of La Mancha, show tune for the evening. Love the occasional appearance of a show tune, they go so well with sequins.
Secondly, let’s discuss the Team USA snowboarding uniforms that legit look like jeans. Turns out they are (and thank goodness, because for a moment I was truly concerned about the state of the world) actual gortex pants. Pretty convincing though as you watch the events. And there are the red, white and blue plaid jackets which are supposedly some sort of Ivy-League-life-esque reference? Sure. Thanks Burton…? According to ESPN, it’s the anti-uniform or something. Preferable to those pinstriped affairs of Salt Lake Torino, sure, but endlessly mind boggling. We had to Google it whilst the men’s snowboard cross was going down. Really.
ESPN.com/ Burton
Keepin’ it interesting.
Words to Bumble 
My mom says the U.S. skiing costumes look like pyjamas.
She’s right. The spiderman-esque ones from Torino were far superior.
Were the pinstripes not Turino?
Mmmm I think you’re right. Touché. Forthcoming correction.
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White discussed the story of his mom going his gold medal to get cleaned at the cleaners in his interview with that guy on TV. It was very cool! White questioned his mom if there was a way they could get the gold medal ribbon clean as it had gotten quite dirty and his mother took the medal to the dry cleaners! He was astonished when his mom came back it back with the dry cleaning bag on top of it. He also thought it was funny that she complained about how much money it cost to clean it.
That story was one of the inspirations for my later post about White. Very funny.
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