Every once in a while, instead of driving me to job-search-despair, Craigslist shines laughter into my day.
See! It’s perfect for moms a) because stay-at-home moms have lots of free time that they want to spend extracting lice from the filthy children of their neighbors, and b) moms are experts in lice because children tend to be dirty and prone to communicable ailments. So if you are a mom whose offspring attend a middle school that sends out lice alert emails like drunken voicemails on Valentine’s Day… here is how you turn that gross fact into a money-making opportunity.
Related: Looking for a Job? It’s the Job of the Day!
So I was perusing the internet for my dream job this morning and once again Craigslist brought me joy.
For instance, the Chicago Police Department—yes, the real police—post on Craigslist. I mean, you would think that most people considering becoming cops could figure that out without skimming Craigslist, something clearly meant to aid people with useless M.A.s like myself.
On the other hand… I had never considered that if I became a police officer I could work in the canine handling unit… wait a minute… hrmmmmm…
Do you want to be in a Super Bowl Doritos commercial?
All you have to do is be super sexy, have lots of acting and modelling experience and be willing to wear a Doritos bikini.
I imagine this does actually mean a bikini made of Doritos, although apparently there is an actual swimsuit of a Doritos bag in existence.
So you know, if you’re looking for your big break… I just gave it to you on a silver platter.
Happy Monday. You are welcome.
For all those many unemployed Battle Star Galactica fans out there (OK, maybe you’re just a freelancer between projects), some shady-ass kid from NYU (shot in the dark) needs your help for a term paper.
What. The. Hell.
And really? You are going to pay $25 a page? What is happening? Who are you?
And now you all know that I regularly stalk the Writing/Editing jobs on Craigslist. Whatever.
But really: What the what!?