Tag Archives: Aubrey Plaza

I Always Forget the Emmys

I do. Almost every year. This time around, I went out to see Contagion and eat sushi. Sure, a weaker-willed group of people might have opted out of restaurant dining after viewing the mega virus debacle. Luckily, my friends like to eat. And the place we go to (Fin on Wilson and Hermitage in Chicago) is divine (don’t be scared, try the Honey Walnut roll or the Crunchy Plantain).

I digress.

Regarding the Emmys, I am mostly bummed about missing red carpet action. Although when I remembered that Jane Lynch hosted, I did nearly shed a single tear for my loss.

The up-shoot of all this is that my typical comments are basically non-existent. I looked at a few slide shows, and I will limit my comments to four.

What, what, what are you doing Gwyneth Paltrow?

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I love Kate Winslet the most, almost all the time (although I did recently watch Heavenly Creatures in a mad dash before Netflix self destructs… and that is one creepy, creepy movie).

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Will Arnett’s facial expression. Amy Poehler’s Mystique-esque gown.

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Aubrey Plaza always looks as though she is about to punch someone—and I love that about her.

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Filed under Commenting, Cuisining, Out & About, Television

Illuminating My Life: Bill Burr on Letterman

I don’t know if you’ve heard, but I am kind of an old man inside, and I really enjoy David Letterman.

Recently, comedian Bill Burr was featured as the end-of-show stand up fellow. It was life illuminated, as you may have inferred from the title of this post. I was so entirely amused, that here I am—days and days later—sharing the magic.

In short…

On reality tv: “You know, with shows where they stick like ten whores in a house, somebody tries to find a wife.”

On face lifts: “There’s no shirt for your face.”

On not drinking: “I remember every second of this year. It’s brutal, I don’t know what to do with myself. All my shirts are folded. The bed’s made. I’m sitting around waiting for Christmas.”

On ladies: “When I was a kid, I thought my dad was crazy. Then when I got older, I started dating and I realized, ehh… he’s making a lotta good points.”

On dogs: “I gotta work on my temper you know, it’s screwing up the dog. It is. We rescued a pit bull, which is basically like owning a teenage lion, you know. And I didn’t realize that dogs, like, they feed off your vibes. Like, if you’re chilling, they’re chilling, if you’re sleeping, theyre sleeping, but if you’re a psycho like me and you’re screaming at the ref on tv like ‘you gotta be kidding me!’ I didn’t realize the dog was in the corner like, ‘You gotta be kidding me…grrrr.'”

“Mentally the dog is walking through the tunnel at the Rose Bowl, like: This is what we play for! Somebody hit somebody!

Literally, Burr finished his dog bit, ten minutes passed, I’m chopping spinach, and suddenly I am cracking up, pissing myself just remembering the dog bit. 100% true (both my reaction, and his observations on dogs).

In long…

Also, who else is excited for Park and Recreation to be back?

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Filed under General Hilarity, Television