Conan’s “Second Annual First Show”


“I know what you’re thinking. ‘Hey, it’s the guy from Twitter.'”

“You’re Kanye West?!”

So Conan came back last night. I remembered halfway through, but luckily there was a rerun. That’s the great thing about basic cable. Lots of reruns.

I never watched Conan religiously. I tend to get sleepy—although my move from EST to CST has ameliorated that to an extent. On the other hand, primetime starts before I even sit down to dinner, so that’s a problem. I haven’t seen Community on-time in weeks. Thank goodness now that I’ve moved home (where I am forced both to watch and live my own version of Shit My Dad Says), I live with the benefit of a DVR—something I could not afford in my Manhattan shoebox.

Maybe I can take a note from Conan on the restructuring of life goals and dreams: “I have dreamed of being a talk show host on basic cable ever since I was 46.”

And I’m not even anywhere near that old, so I have lots of time to dream…right?

If Conan can achieve his dream of fitting his entire time off into one joke (“That’s  like trying to keep an Icelandic volcano from wearing Lady Gaga’s meat dress while a trapped Chilean miner cleans up the BP oil spill, comma, Brett Favre’s penis”), then I can achieve my dream of functioning like a real person.

Don’t take away my dreams.

It was entertaining, despite how I have never cared much for the masturbating bear and probably never will. I also detest Lea Michelle (yeah, whatever Gleeps—don’t like her, don’t like her show).

Conan’s got a similar kind of retro-y set in the same color scheme, because—let’s face it—when you have Conan’s coloring there aren’t a many color schemes out there that are going to work for you. Even with the best in make-up and lighting.

tbs.com

On the other hand I think Conan has really hit on something by growing and keeping that beard. It hides some of the waxiness that is so apparent in the terrifying “Ex-Talk Show Host” mask that Andy Richter thinks looks “kind of like an Asian Val Kilmer,” despite being “very authentic” when you wear it because “inside it smells like tears.”

At any rate, Conan just looks jollier in a beard.

Plus he said that Jack McBrayer of 30 Rock will be on later this week, so I’ll have to tune in again.

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