Vote, Bitches


Part I: Do the Deed

I don’t care who you vote for (I mean I do, but that’s not my point here), just vote.

Seriously. It’s fun. It’s like connect the dots for adults. Also, it’s one of the few active things asked of American citizens: interact with your government, once in a while by voting—otherwise known as having an active voice. Neglecting to vote doesn’t accomplish anything. Choosing not to vote because you are upset and “making a point” by omission isn’t even passive aggressive. It’s just passive.

So there.

Go vote, bitches!

Part II: My First In-Person Voting Experience

I have been in school for what feels like about four hundred years—and I am not even a doctor. Not even close. The upshot of all this schooling away from my home-sweet-home Chicago is that I have never voted in person… until about 15 minutes ago. The absentee ballot has been my friend for many years. We are close. I remember the days when they sent me a pin and a sheet of something akin to styrofoam. That was fun.

Today I learned that the last absentee ballot I received was pretty much just like the one I used at my local polling station today. I must admit, I am a little bummed. I hoped for some antiquatedly confusing slot-machine-looking contraption. Or maybe a touch screen that would boggle all the elderly voters (and at 11:30 am on the south side of Chicago, that’s pretty much the crowd I rolled in with). Instead it was just a super long piece of card stock with arrows next to each candidates name. Your task? Connect the arrows next to the name you fancy.

It was a little anticlimactic. I felt that I may as well have just voted by mail if the Board of Election Commissioners could not even provide an interesting gadget for me to vote on.

On the other hand… I voted! Yay! Voting is very important (see Part I: Do the Deed).

On a third hand, by the time I got to my voting cubby I had already had more drama at the polling station than I bargained for. Turns out that I am not in the book thingy with all the voter names and related applications for voting the normal way. At least when you do it the normal way you get to feed your papers to an angry-looking machine and then the nice man gives you a little tag that says you voted (not a sticker mind you, which I am upset about because I really wanted a sticker; plus, I had to commandeer my mother’s tag because as a provisional voter I somehow didn’t get one).

Meanwhile, I have shown up and my name is on the roster list of registered voters at the front of the station, yet absent from the official book. So I had to chat with the election judge about getting a provisional ballot. Luckily, I am super official and not only had my government issued photo I.D., but I also my newly cut-out voter registration card.

People (namely my parental units) had laughed at my super officialness. Who is laughing now?

So the lovely judge lady signed my Provisional Voter Affidavit and sent me on my way.

Then I had to run back for a pen.

It was a really nice felt tip pen that I almost stole, but in the end returned out of my respect for government and the election process as a whole (in addition to my overwhelming fear of having yet more trouble regarding my vote).

So now I have two weeks to stalk the Board of Election Commissioners in an effort to assure that my vote counts. I’m unemployed, so I have a lot of time to make sure that my vote will count. I also take a lot of pride in the clear, straight, bold lines that I drew on my ballot and I want to world to know.

Part III: My Favorite Bullet Point from the Provisional Voter Affidavit

“If you insist on casting a provisional ballot in a precinct even though you do not reside in that precinct, the provisional ballot will not be counted.”

I find this entertaining, purely due to the fantastic wording that makes me feel as though a first grade teacher is saying, “If you insist on eating dried glue off your hands during the spelling test, you will be sent to time out and your test will result in a zero.”

GO VOTE!


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1 Comment

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One response to “Vote, Bitches

  1. Pingback: Chicago Local Elections: I Voted Early! There Were Touch-Screens! | Words to Bumble

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