[tweetmeme source=”JohannaAP25″] I took a brief hiatus from Dancing with the Stars. My eyes needed a break from the sartorial scaring. My wallet was looking to be drained at my local cocktail bar. My social skills needed practicing. And I had no problem continuing to vote for Evan Lysacek without having seen him dance.
I won’t bother to attempt recapping something I haven’t seen, and let’s face it: If you really care, you have already digested the past weeks of Dancing. Instead, I shall jump right into the quarter-final battle.
Five couples competed this week: Words to Bumble favorites Evan Lysacek and Anna Trebunskaya, Niecy Nash and Louis Van Amstel, Chad Ochocinco and Cheryl Burke, Erin Andrews and Maksim Chmerkovsky, Nicole Scherzinger and Derek Hough. Furthermore, each couple had to perform two dances: one traditional ballroom dance such as the waltz or the foxtrot and one Latin dance such as the cha-cha or the paso-doble.
So how did things go for our Olympic Champion? Well, after the first perfect score of the season last week, Lysacek decided that it was time to take Trebunskaya out of her comfort zone and out onto the ice where he took a turn criticizing: “Your hips are too loose!”
[Everyone is always telling Lysacek that his hips are too stiff and rigid.]
This week Trebunskaya decided that they should present the most romantic waltz the world has ever seen. It involved rolling around on the ground, theoretically giving Romeo and Juliet another chance… or something to that effect.
Len and I felt similarly: “I didn’t like the rolly-polly stuff on the floor and one or two of the other things they weren’t’ my cup of tea,” however he did have to admit that the kid’s got grace.
Bruno was typically enthusiastic and Carrie Ann trod the middle road: “Your lines are impeccable… But really Evan, you have to lose yourself in the moment.”
I think people should just accept that he is a little bit of a robot and move on with their lives. Evan certainly has: For their second dance of the night, Lysacek and Trebunskaya presented a dance from the future, complete with face paint, the robot and costumes that one can only surmise were inspired by that cinematic masterpiece: The Fifth Element.
In rehearsals Lysacek even did a spot-on “Wally” robot voice saying things like, “Maybe my hips will be better in the future,” and “Are you ready to cha-cha-cha?” He even addressed the situation directly: “I can do no emotions,” and expressing his delight at the opportunity to be an android.
I wonder if he has a Droid phone?
And just in case the tape and mesh ensemble wasn’t enough: Lysacek brought along his sparkly white gloves from that delightful Stars On Ice Michael Jackson routine of his. Perfection.
Also, let’s just take a moment to ponder how much hair gel was involved in getting his hair to do that. As a sidenote.
And what did the judges have to say?
Len said, “Again you confused me [because the cha-cha is usually fluid;” whereas Carrie Ann was a fan of the rigidity. Bruno as per usual leaped out of his chair and effused, “It couldn’t be more futuristic… I thought was very creative and very inventive!”
At any rate, Lysacek and Trebunskaya did not quite mop the floor with the competition as they did last week, but they still did pretty well ending up with a combined 53/60.
In the end, the Olympian pair were the second couple to be named “safe” on Tuesday night, after Pussycat Nicole Scherzinger and Derek Hough. Let’s go right ahead and call it now–just in case it hasn’t already been called– it is clearly going to come down to those two.
Other mayhem from this past week?
Chad Ochocinco wore a maroon velvet suit with zebra trim and no shirt for his sixties-style jive. Seriously. In an outfit like that, Bruno just had to come out and say it: “You definitely pimped that jive.”
I don’t even know.
The Pussycat did a fierce fifties style paso-doble, which her ever so witty partner had called “impassoble,” based on the combination of a bubbly era and a dramatic dance. Things turned out pretty well for the pair with a “feisty vibrant passionate performance,” as proclaimed by The Bruno.
I admit it was pretty awesome, and they clearly won the right to an encore on Tuesday night.
And to whom did we bid a fond farewell? Niecy Nash and her “jiggly parts” have been sent home. Nash was pretty good-natured about the affair doing a little dance as she was sent off and repeated her patented line: “Most women who can’t hula-hoop with a cheerio wouldn’t even attempt this!”
Goodbye sassy lady. To be fair though, I cannot have you interfering with the Olympic champion.
One last sidebar: I am adoring the Dance Center Sports Center spoof from this week’s elimination episode.