Sweet Fancy Moses, Are You Prepped for Dancing with the Stars?

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Here’s what you need to know from last week, assuming that you feel like you need to know, which hopefully is not really a make-or-break situation for you.


Last week as movie week. Chad Ochocinco did the quick step to the tune of “Bare Necessities,” from the animated Disney Jungle Book. There was tiger print involved. Partner Cheryl Burke had some sort of strange tail-like detail situation on the back of her dress.

Bruno felt that there was too much jungle fever in their quick step, plus, “I know you’re trying hard… but tonight it really fell to pieces.”

Ochocinco just really looked like he would rather be doing dirty things to his partner versus competing on Dancing with the Stars. Just my thought.

Also, everyone was fighting last week, thus in addition to be movie night, it was “Do you want to bone each other night.” Seriously, the question got put to nearly every couple: Is there love in the air? A lovers quarrel perhaps? Do dish.

Erin Andrews’ answer: “Not until he gets me a ring like Chad got Cheryl, are you joking me?”

It was awkward.


Kate Gosselin meanwhile threw a fit in rehearsal for her John Hughes Breakfast Club themed Foxtrot: “Are we swimming or are we dancing?” Then her partner Tony told her that she fails to put forth any effort ever.

And then they were eliminated with a judges score of 15 to boot. It was really sad for her. Especially after the judges’ comments in which Carrie Ann compared their dancing to the Charlie Brown teachers “wah wah wah wah” inaudible speaking. Len said that they had not so much danced as strolled to the music.

I feel bad for Gosselin, this was clearly no enjoyable stroll in the park for her, and everyone is always hating. I mean, yes, she did that awful “Paparazzi” dance and she cannot seem to move with anything other than fear, but like… rough city.


Evan Lysacek update for the week: He and Trebunskaya were Armageddon themed with Aerosmith (which incidentally was on television this weekend). Their rumba involved Trebunskaya in a sheer sparkly situation and their highest score yet: 27, ranking second behind the Pussycat who scored 29/30.

Figure skating comparison of the week from Lysacek: “In skating we try to keep our hips really firm and tight because those are our stability.”

Trebunskaya revealed that she is “a little concerned because skating is so different from dancing the rumba.” She has been joining Lysacek on his touring with Stars On Ice so that they can train on the road. She is enjoying exploring American with him.

What is in store for tonight? Well… tonight the stars get to design the costumes and some of them sounded like they were quite looking forward to an opportunity for sartorial revenge. Others were just intimidated by the responsibility, Lysacek among them: “Anna’s look comes first. If I can’t figure out something for myself I’ll just wear a tux again.”

Oh Evan, we know you will. We know.


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