For Sheila: A Fixer-Upper with a Ghost & Two Lunatics


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Frequent Words to Bumble guest stars Kathleen and David have procured a new apartamento, and it is a bit of a fixer-upper situation: a few faulty windows, pink tiles (even in the kitchen, ew) and need of a paint job. Oh right, and the ghost, we will get to the ghost.

Since repainting was mandatory and the pair had a chunk of time between the handing over of the keys and their move-in date– they decided to do the painting themselves and even selected a few snazzy colors that I named “Yoda’s Swamp Green,” “Caribbean Teal” and “Adobe Sand.” The first is clearly the best. Also, it is eerily accurate.

Speaking of eerie things, Kathleen and David have decided that they have a ghost– they just had a feeling. David described it as, “It was kind of like Nicole Kidman in The Others

Really. Really. They are dead convinced that an angry specter is going to haunt their new exotically themed abode.

I think it was the paint fumes, personally. I do not indulge in such things as ghosts. Argue with me all you like. Meanwhile, Kathleen is in the market for a priest willing to do an exorcism on a Manhattan apartment, so if you know anyone… you let me know and I’ll go ahead and pass that tidbit along.

It might also have been the fact that they were exhausted and on edge from such things as what occurs in the video below. Rickety furniture used as a ladder is rarely comforting.

It is a wonder that no necks were broken– or sprained at the very least.

And the Trashy Spain bit refers to a bar that I might someday open, inspired by some trashy discotheques that I have frequented on a certain Mediterranean island. It is going to be big. It is not offensive– I swear.

Don’t worry about it. Moving on.

Clearly the fumes and the le tired ness got to them as David was heard to say such things as: “Oranges are very orange. And they taste like it.”

Good observation.

He also got paint in/ near his eye at one point and completely flipped out. So what did I do? I burst out laughing and then tweeted about it. All before actually attempting to help. I am a really good friend (although in my defense I did volunteer to paint their apartment of full free will).

Then I told him to thoroughly rinse his eyes out, which he proceeded to do so vigorously that he exclaimed, “Oh my God– I just gave myself wrinkles!”

I do not think he is going to manage aging with grace.

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1 Comment

Filed under Dear Life, Really.

One response to “For Sheila: A Fixer-Upper with a Ghost & Two Lunatics

  1. Pingback: Meet Kathleen: Guest Star « Words to Bumble

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