Interviews


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Ever been on an interview with a ridiculous resumé and been forced to watch as your interviewer’s face gives a twitch, trying to hide a laugh as they casually glance down the page of high quality water-marked parchment paper that is your resumé?

I mean, it’s OK, I understand. I even put it all out there and say, “I know, it’s a bizarre resumé, isn’t it?” It is. And these things happen. Can’t you tell? I have a lovely sense of humor about myself and the state of my life.

Other things that happen are that you realize you could have worn black jeans instead of dress pants, leading to the inner monologue: “Why are you wearing dress pants and a collared shell?” “I have NO idea.”

On the other hand, there is always that epic sigh of relief when you realize on your way out that never did anyone bother asking you: “What is your greatest weakness?” The lamest, most pointless yet classic interview query EVER. Sweet escape.

And of course my all time favorite is when once upon a time, I interviewed for a job and the woman kept repeating, double-checking: “You know, this job is SO not glamorous.”

To which, I must admit, the only response is: “I know, I applied for it. It’s OK. I can do this. I might even want to do this, if we’re both lucky.” We ended up getting along quite well.

So I had an interview today.

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